Tags: elly's retirement

Sunday, November 19

Panel 1: Oh great, an Elly strip. Actually, though, I might not have cause for complaint. For the first time in, well, ever, she looks like a dignified middle-aged woman instead of an arm-flapping shrew.

Panel 2: Up the steps of an important-looking building with a briefcase? Could it be that...

Panel 3: Some kind of course. They listened to us again!

Panel 4: Okay, she's leaving again. Supposedly inspired? Is that why we see her pushing against the wind?

Panel 5: A fundraiser! "Fun-ding" is almost Dilbertian. But who are these people? Students in another of her courses?

Panel 6: Donating books. She's all involved!

Panel 7: And doing the treadmill! Does she realize that no matter how long she jogs, there'll never be a donut shop? But she should keep the ponytail.

Panel 8: Yeah, I figured it would come to that. Well, April, you were the one who begged to be allowed to cook, three years ago. In fact, those were the exact words: "Maybe when you're 15." "What's three years?" And now you are 15, with the Lips of Loveliness, and you're griping about having to make the mac an' cheese. Whatever. But you got one thing right: Elly WAS home more when she was working!
howbandaid

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Panel 1: Back to the coffee shop with Moira, where we last saw Elly discussing her retirement on February 3 . Let’s see how Elly’s predicted reasons for retirement match with what actually happened. Back in February, Elly told Moira she was thinking about going back to school to finish her English degree and how she hoped that her granddaughter would do the same. Today, as someone has placed Elly’s head on John’s body, she tells the now, big-as-a-house Moira she doesn’t feel retired. What have you been doing, Elly? I can hardly wait to hear about it.

Panel 2: Classes and cleaning and kids! Oh my! Love that alliteration. And Elly hardly has time to think, which means it’s the perfect mindset for writing. Wait a minute! Classes, plural? Kids, plural? What is she talking about? In her monthly letters, Elly has only mentioned a 6-week photography course offered through the local college, but this dialogue implies that Elly has actually lived up to her promise to go back to school to finish her degree. However, she has only been retired since April, so it seems unlikely she could have signed up for anything in a regular college semester. Then there is the kids part. She has to be talking about going to stay at Mike and Deanna’s to take care of Robin and Merrie, but technically they are the grandkids. I know they are kids generically, but you would think Elly would call them grandkids.

Panel 3: The black lips of Moira make a reappearance as I find it once again necessary to remind the artist that when the character’s head tilts to the right, the eyes should tilt with it. Real humans do not have inertially stabilized eyes. Moira dropped a leading question in the last panel with “Write?”, but apparently Elly has stopped thinking so much, she has to be more direct with “About what?” in this panel. Non-thinking Elly says, “Just stuff” and then continues with an actual answer. It takes awhile to get that retired brain in motion. It must not have been in motion when Elly wrote her June, 2006 monthly letter, because this is the first I have heard of her writing.

Panel 4: Now the family stories / diary announcement turns morbid. I must write it, before I bite it. Moira tries to deflect the turn in the conversation, and thus sets up the joke for the strip in the next panel.

Panel 5: The waitress, who bears a slight resemblance to Kortney Krelbutz (although that would be too much to hope for), gets the joke line and makes them feel old. But don’t feel too bad Elly and Moira. If a waitress without any eyes asked me if I were going to get the Senior’s discount, I would probably say yes. After all, how is she going to know the difference, and I could use the price break. Moira also goes for the no-eye look in the support of the waitress’ affliction, while Elly simply does the “my mouth has dropped to the bottom of my face” look, in a vain attempt for a humourous reaction. Just to let you know, person drawing this strip, the joke is not funny enough to work without a strong comic reaction on the face of both Elly and Moira, who could respond differently to the same statement of the waitress, and save the strip. Otherwise, it's just yet, another Elly-is-old joke.
howbandaid

Monday, June 5, 2006

Panel 1: A few minor changes. If I look back at the last time we saw the exteriour of Lilliput’s, we can see they changed the awning to one that can hold a much bigger sign saying Lilliput’s and replaced the smaller signs saying, “Books Lilliput’s Toys” with “Toys Books Hobbies”. This makes sense. Why repeat Lilliput’s on the small sign, when the new bigger awning says the same thing?

Panel 2: Elly does her impersonation of her mom Marian, as she proclaims, “Lilliput’s is your store now, ladies.” Actually it’s Moira’s store. Beatrice Alfarero just works there, but I know what she means. Moira has lost an eye, but she has made up for it in weight gain. She has put on a lot of weight since the time she sold the place last April. I guess without Elly there to consume any leftover food or phone books, Moira must have taken on the task herself to the detriment of her waistline. Just to let you know, Moira, I don’t mind you took down the ceiling decorations. I have hated them for years. It was like some kid had hung an amateurishly done mobile. Also, moving the railroad display gets John Patterson out of the store. Bravo all around, Moira. Now if I can just figure out what you have pinned between your right arm and your body.

Panel 3: Elly sighs and gets misty while looking up at where the ceiling decorations used to be. If she hadn’t sold the store, they would still be there. Yes, Elly, owning a store is all about the ceiling decorations.

Panel 4: In this panel, Elly does her Margaret Hamilton imitation as she reflects on the part of the business she didn’t like, which was apparently the customers. Yes, Elly, the worst part of owning a store is dealing with customers. Now Elly has no regrets in leaving, and somewhere a telephone book sighs a deep sigh of relief. We have a lady talking to Moira with a small child holding an ice cream, that has melted and produced a puddle on the floor, but more likely it is the child who has made the puddle by other means, since the ice cream looks relatively intact. To her left is a child in a striped shirt holding two toys up to the woman holding the child. It is simply horrible when children in a toy store want toys. The boy in the front over the astronomy display is the most curious. It looks like he has a monocle over his right eye and the hair shaved off the right side of his head (brain surgery maybe) and dirt marks on his face and his clothing. He is holding some object, perhaps as a pretend gun and is tipping over that upright box thing to his right as Beatrice Alfarero looks on in abject horror either at the boy, or the fact she has lost all the hair on the sides of her head. What is with this kid? Did Fagin lose a street urchin?

Saturday, April 15

Tax day! I don't know if anyone here has ever read "Sylvia", but every year, I recall the strip in which The Woman Who Does Everything More Beautifully Than You describes how she, having done her taxes in February, of course, spends April 15th bringing espresso and fresh-baked cinnamon rolls to the poor beleagured post office workers. I once had a can of coffee in a flavor my husband doesn't like (and I don't drink coffee at all). I offered it to the staff at my post office the week of April 15 (not the day itself) and they declined. ETA: D'oh! They're NOT government workers, and never said they were. They just didn't want it! Made them feel on the spot, I guess. Or suspicious.

Anyway, that Sylvia strip was funny. Let's see how today's Foob shapes up.

Panel 1: So, what of it, John? Disappointed that you don't get to say "HA-ha! Elly ran out of things to do!"?

Panel 2: WTF? Is there a car right there in the building? Or is it a model, or a standup or something?

Panel 3: Oh lord, he mentioned Anthony. :::shudder::: And is that the model ship John built? Did Gordon build it? Unlikely, since he just said he doesn't have time for anything. Guess he bought it, simply because that's the kind of thing hotshots have in their offices.

Panel 4: Both the guys look really odd in this. John looks as if he's been in the wilds of Manitoba, losing 40% of his body weight, and Gordon just looks like a troll. And his tie is too short.

Panel 5: John looks rather annoyed that he was outpunned. Or was he? It's a bit ambigous: is it money that disappears faster, or time? IME, not having time actually causes money to disappear. You have to hire stuff done, or buy stuff already made, instead of thriftily doing or making it yourself. Anyway, we all know Gordo is an honorary Patterson, and here he is proving it.

Friday, April 14

Panel 1: Jeez, Elly and John are getting more and more identical all the time! Same posture, same giant hooves, dressed alike, similar expression! And once again, an awkward phrasing. I would think the slides would be secondary to the events they chronicle, which is what he's really forgotten about.

Panel 2: Which canoe trip? The one where John and Phil (Elly's brother, who we might see here at some point) capsized and were stranded? And do they really have to clarify that Farley was a DOG? No one is EVER going to forget him (heh).

Panel 3: OMG! John's being pulled into the Doomsday Machine, from TOS! Or that thing from the first episode of Space: 1999!

Panel 4: And how is John talking without a mouth?

Panel 5: Sigh. Well, I wouldn't expect Elly's regrets to go deeper than that. But I just bet, when those photos were taken, 23 y/o Elly thought she was fat then.

I don't know if anyone remembers a daily strip from the early '90s, in which Elly sat on the beach, huddled up in a long t-shirt, while skinny women in bikinis strolled past. Then a very large woman passed by, after which Elly shed the shirt and strode down to the water. My take on that: "And I bet both of the bikini women are thinking, 'Uch, I am so fat; I shouldn't even be wearing this.'"

Thursday, April 13

Panel 1: Okay, she got dressed. I guess she didn't go down to the basement immediately after her Statue of Liberty pose, as I originally thought. That said, this looks more like a garage than a basement. And suprisingly, Elly's butt doesn't have its own area code.

Panel 2: A suitcase full of coat hangers? Well, I admit that is somewhat amusing. Stuff gets sorted that way: you just keep putting hangers in the suitcase because there are already hangers in there. And you save the jars, plastic containers and so forth because You Never Know when you'll need them. (I once heard of someone who had odds and ends of stuff all stored in baby food jars. One jar was thoughtfully marked "Empty".)

Panel 3: Aaaaaaand here we go.

Panel 4: Okay, this is no joke. That is John's face if I ever saw it.

Panel 5: But did she actually set up the projector, or is she just holding the slides up to the light? Either way, I just bet we're about to head down memory lane. And Elly has young-person butt again. How does that work? When LJ feels bad about herself, she draws Elly to look like ass? So she must have been feeling pretty good, to let the Lynnions flatter Elly so.

However, I bet that's the only time Elly's ever smiled over her shoulder as John approaches her from behind.

Wednesday, April 12

Panel 1: Unnecessary exposition. "Hum". Patterson bun and boob-flattening blouse.

Panel 2: Elly looks fiendishly delighted at the prospect. Pumpkinhead April looks as if she's gearing up to run to her room and hide whatever kind of contraband she has lying around. Or destroy whatever she has already hidden.

Panel 3: Is this a deliberate homage to Citizen Kane? (The shot of Kane on the podium, during his campaign for governor.) Good profile on April.

Panel 4: Good thinking, John. Meanwhile, April's left breast is prominent enough to be seen forward of her arm.

Anyway, so this is Elly's great ambition: clean the house. Well, I have to temper my snark just a bit. My mom has been retired for ten years, and her ambition is to never clean again. And she hasn't. TEHO.

Tuesday, April 11

Panel 1: More stating the obvious.

Panel 2: Is that the Crevasse? Then why's John driving? Did Elly have too much wine? Or does he have his own 'Asse now?

Anyway, why "not really"? I thought she hated owning the store so much she'd have lost her mind otherwise. Is she now realizing how much larger a burden she's taken on, trying to be Super!Grandma! and Super!Homemaker and Super!Nevergiveyourteenagedaughteraninchofbreathingroom?

Panel 3: Ah. Well, is it a new life as a man? Because that's how she looks.

Panel 4: So many of which I bet she never does. And I can't wait to find out...

Panel 5: Ah. Well, I guess that's more of a generic joke, rather than one on Elly. Cleaning out basements is rather daunting, especially if the whole time you've owned the house, you've just piled more and more crap down there. OTOH, at least part of the basement is furnished, so it can't be that bad.

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I remember, two years ago or whenever it was, when Elly kept wimping out over firing Kortney. Many people on various sites were coming to her defense, saying, "It's not easy to fire someone...It's not easy being a small business owner." At the time I was somewhat cowed and didn't challenge that, but now I see it a bit differently. A lot of things in life are difficult. How about RISING to the challenge, OVERCOMING the don't-make-waves indoctrination some people said was crippling Elly, and adapting to the situation? Not EVERY woman from Elly's generation is totally spineless. She wanted to own the bookstore; she should have accepted that not everything about it would be easy.

That's really what irks me about Pattersons. They want glory and praise, but they are such prima donnas about the slightest challenge or setback. Liz has a breakdown doing a lesson plan in the privacy of her apartment. Mike has a temper tantrum when a story proposition of his is turned down. Elly prefers to let the person who threatened her daughter keep working in her store. And yet they're all supposed to be top-notch at what they do. Imagine what MORE they could do if they were willing to sacrifice. (Sacrifice stuff THEY want, I mean. Deanna works her ass off, yet we don't hear about what an awesome mom she is.)

Monday, April 10

Panel 1: Must be Moira. But what the heck? I thought they finalized the sale long-distance from Mexico. Is there going to be a grand re-opening under new management?

Panel 2: You don't think you could have chosen anyone else? Who else would even have been a candidate? As has been discussed before, Moira paid a lot more dues than Elly. Anyway, I see we get to meet Mr. Moira.

Panel 3: I have no doubt it will. In fact, I daresay it can only improve, with the official owner being the person who actually shows up and does stuff.

Panel 4: OMG, what's happening here? I'm still in a Sopranos mode; is Elly going to give Moira the kiss of death?

Panel 5: Not even a pun. In fact, there's really not much to snark on. Ah well; it's nice to have a respite.

Tuesday, February 7

Panel 1: Well, color me amazed! The Martian gets to know what's going on!

Panel 2: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't have Elly go back to school! For the love of GOD! Meanwhile, dig that crazy hep talk from Apes!

Panel 3: Another Is It Mike or Is It Elly shot. (ETA: Or Liz!) And those sure are some ambitious plans. However, I recall a time when Elly was involved with the theater guild. Back in the '80s, I think it was, when she was, as I said earlier, Ms. Committee. And as I also said earlier, a prime target for a Woman's Place is Pregnant in the Kitchen, Bare Feet Optional, smackdown.

Panel 4: Why do they keep giving April insight way too advanced for her age? Notice the "judging" posture, with her chin on her fist. Furthermore, I don't get Elly's answer. If she's tired, why does she want to take on so much?