Panel 1: The letters are red, green and white! That's kind of cute. But why are the Patterspawn staring at the base of the tree? Do they think that's where Santa makes his entrance? The doll seems to be exasperated with them. And come to think of it, the tree skirt looks like it belongs in JSTF's model train village.
Panel 2: Robin makes a connection for once! Good thing there's no fire, though.
Panel 3: Hey, it's Peter Pan! No, wait; it's Deanna. "Anover." How cute. I should make a new tag for tot malaprops. (After the holidays, though! ETA: See, I know I'm a grownup, because I'm now at the point of wanting to get Christmas over with already.)
Panel 4: Oh, deal with it, guys. Robin looks exactly like Mike, but as he is NOW. Which is kind of scary.
Panel 5: Oh for crying out loud. For once, the gobsmacked look is appropriate. What are they trying to DO, anyway?
Panel 6: Zuh? Is Mike going to "do something" with his kids? Is he agreeing to do something Deanna asks of him? Are we sure he HEARD her?
Panel 7: The hair is still that short! Is Deanna going to keep going shorter until she has a suede head? Right now, she looks like a cabbage.
Panel 8: Ha ha. Well, Deanna might could have been more clear about what she wanted.
Panel one: Dee runs after Robin, who is trying to run into a table and kill himself.
Panel two: He manages to hook himself under the table, and Dee is forced to pull him out. Q: If his legs are both dislocated, would the judge blame it on Dee or Mike? One's stressed and the other's negligent.
Panel three: Meredith pulls on her socks and Robin makes scrunchy faces. Elly is going to babysit!
Panel four: Robin's leg is bent around at a horribly unnatural angle. Meredith shows no signs of intelligence.
Panel five: Meredith is still not showing any signs of intelligence.
Panel six: Robin says 'whine', probably because his mother has her hand down his trousers. O_o Dee looks pretty shocked, too.
Panel seven: As Meredith begins to cry, Robin drops his trousers.
Panel eight: OH GOD THE DOORBELL RINGS. Dee is frozen in horror: what if it's Mike, come to upbraid her for letting the children be noisy? WHAT IF IT'S THE POLICE? WHAT IF THE NEIGHBOURS TELEPHONED THEM? OH NO!
Panel nine: Nope, it's Elly! Dee's relief is disturbing. Meanwhile, Meredith points and laughs at her trouserless brother.
And that's the end of my week. :D It's been fun, y'all.
Hmmm....all new...but still more superteddy...
Panels 1&2: Merrie finally gets a mild scolding from Mommy and is told not to aim for people or breakables. Of course when Genius punished her severely for daring to disturb him, he only said it was wrong to hit HIM...hitting Mommy or breakables is funny and Daddy enjoys and encourages you to hit Mommy; but hitting Daddy MEANS HELLFIRE AND DAMNATION FOR BAD CHILDREN! Notice that only Merrie is getting the talking to while Crown Prince Poopie Pants is a mere spectator.
Panel 3: Here we go! Crown Prince Poopie Pants is showing that Patterson Sense of Entitlement!! Teddy now, later on the Pattermanse and Tiny Train House, all their contents, and all the land. Genius and Train Man have taught him well. Merrie of course has learned from Mommy and Elly that the proper role of a Patterson female is to lower her head and bend to the will of a Patterson male; that is until she marries her first ever love, then she becomes his property to do with as he wishes. Grandma Mira could show her how to think for herself and that a woman takes a backseat to no man, but Genus and Doormat dont want Mira interfering in their lives nor keep Merrie from being nailed to her wooden cross for her man and constantly complain about all the bleeding she's doing...just like Mommy and Elly.
Panel 4: Since Doormat only told Merrie not to throw Teddy but DID NOT tell Crown Prince Poopie Pants to stop throwing Teddy at people or breakables(plus since he's a Patterson male, he's free to disregard anything a woman tells him to do especially a Patterson woman). So it's a beeline to the door to hit a random walker out on the sidewalk.
Panel 5: YES!! And who comes up the walk but St. Elly!!...or is it Liz coming up the walk? I cant tell them apart anymore, so I dont know if it's Elly or Liz. At any rate, this is prob for this community the happiest panel we've seen in weeks. St. Elly or Obliviliz is fixing to get Superteddyed into some concrete!! Will it be concussion, compound fracture, or...dare we say it...multiple injuries? We better not speculate...we might jinx things up and Elly/Liz will escape unharmed.
Tonight we sleep, perchance to dream of broken Patterson bones on the morrow...too bad it's not His Divine Genius coming home from an evening of coffee with Weed....
Fun with Merrie and Robin!
See Merrie. See Teddy. See Merrie tie a noose on Teddy.
Die Teddy, die!
See Robin. See Robin's nose. See Robin's nose develop what looks like gangrene.
Rot, Robin, rot!
See Robin. See JonBenet Ramsey. See JonBenet Ramsey's left foot. See Robin's right leg. See the elaborate background. See Lynn pay attention to stuff that nobody gives a fuck about while ignoring the things that matter!
Retire, Lynn, retire!
See SuperTeddy. See Scary Daddy. See SuperTeddy hit Scary Daddy. See Lynn incorporate a phrase that appeared three weeks ago, which all but the most dedicated snarkers and imbibers of Kool-Aid have forgotten. See Lynn congratulate herself on putting the 'b' in subtle!
Suck it, Lynn, suck it!
See Robin. See Merrie. See Zippy the Pinhead. See Zippy the Pinhead chase Robin and Merrie. See Zippy the Pinhead chase Robin and Merrie over what looks like the moon. See Robin and Merrie set up and complete a lame punchline. See Lynn chuckle at her own wit.
Bite me, Lynn, bite me!
See ellcee. See ellcee roll her eyes. See ellcee tell Dancing in Socks Guy how much she hates this strip. See Dancing in Socks Guy wonder whether or not her should tell ellcee to find something else to waste her time on. See Dancing in Socks Guy think better of that and say, "Yeah, it's pretty awful." See ellcee wonder why she bothers. See ellcee think of her fellow snark pals and smile. Snarkers are fun! Snarkers are nice! Snarkers were nice to ellcee when she guest-hosted!
Thank you, snarkers, thank you!
See alladinsane. See alladinsane take over next week. See ellcee wish alladinsane good luck!
Good luck, alladinsane, good luck!
See ellcee. See ellcee realize she still has one more day to snark! Ellcee is happy! Happy, ellcee, happy!
Back to the present.
Panel 1: Fall colors. This reminds me of last fall's strip with Liz and Paul. I guess it's supposed to be the angle that's doing this, but Robin's head is as big as Mike's, if not bigger. Dee's wearing shades.
Panel 2: Robin looks up; Mike looks down. Aside from Robin's weird nose, I like this panel.
Okay, I'm not going to break it down by panel from here on out; I'll just summarize. Robin keeps breaking leaves off of trees and shrubs. When they all get home, Dee finds that he's stuffed them all down his pants.
Guess what? I don't hate this strip. It's very well-drawn by current standards. I think last fall's Paul/Liz strip was prettier, but this one's pretty too. There are no puns and no silhouettes. We do get a gobsmacked expression in the final panel, but hey, you can't have everything. I will say that it's a very, very good thing that poison oak/poison ivy grows close to the ground, and therefore out of Robin's reach.
Andddd... I've just now realized I haven't been using the tags all week. So while I go do that, enjoy the strip. I think this is my last day as guest snarker, so thanks, and good luck to the next victim!
Panel one: Holy Robin, Batman! Patterson Posterior Ahoy!
Panel two: Click, click, click...Hey Dee! Know that $25,000 advance? Why don't you use it to buy a touch activated machine?
Panel three: Boring.
Panel four: Broken machine (Just be grateful it's not spewing water on the floor, like a dishwater would. I hate that.).
Panel five: Mike practices his telekineses by staring at the machine and commanding it to fix, which aggravates Dee. Robin latches onto Mike's leg, unaware how long it'll be until he sees Attic Man again.
Panel six: You mean the sales associate at Sears? Why not call, I dunno, a repairman? Hah! What a crazy idea! They'd charge you, and no one should charge a Patterson!
Panel seven: Doy. Just 'cause you haven't been to service since Easter...
Panel eight: Yesss? Hasss Dee turned into a ssslippery sssnake?
Panel nine: Why not wait until tomorrow? You and
the She-Beast Elly can do your laundry by hand, just like in the good ol' days.
Panel nine: Mike's a genius! We know, we've been told a million times!
Panel ten: Moron. I can understand, you bent down to plug it in, somebody started rumbaing on your bladder, and while you were relieving yourself, you were struck with inspiration and ran to write it down. I can see that happening. But you're a moron anyway, machine or no.
Panel eleven: Har, har.
Not bad, I guess (Reluctantly.). Reminiscent of the old strips, but with Mike and Doormat's history, the mere sight of those two makes me want to throw something.
Well my turn is over, and someone else is coming. I think Punch and Judy (Cowboy Bebop) say it best:
PUNCH: See you next time!
JUDY: Good luck!!