Elly: Why are you stressing about holiday weight-gain? You mostly talked about salad and veggies. It's not the holiday food: it's your everyday eating. You probably lost weight over Christmas, in fact.
:::shudder::: I've read A Million Little Pieces, and my take on it is, that guy is a dry addict, the way some people are dry drunks. But leave it to naive Elly to think that that's the last word on addiction and recovery.
And I guess we're going to get a month of "Elly Goes Shopping In New York". Or maybe not; if something's mentioned in the letters, it's unlikely we'll see it in the strip.
John: Yeah, I was gonna say, if you think that was Liz's first hangover, I've got some land in Florida I'd like to sell you. (Plenty of room for your trains!) And it's "a lot more fun" to watch someone else being hungover? That's just the kind of non-profound, non-insightful, non-clever quip I've come to expect from him.
And you miss your "best friend" April? Buddy, you are sick. And it stands to reason that you dance around the possibility of trading in your car, but grab a new toy steam engine without a second thought. No wonder April doesn't hang around you any more: she's afraid you'll order her into the train at gunpoint, the way Burns did Smithers that one time. And "finikity" is not a word.
Liz: You enjoyed being in the helo with Warren? I assume you mean in general, the other times besides that last ride. I can't imagine it was a barrel of laughs last week.
So no showdown with Anthony. Well, much as I miss the drama, I am glad not to hear you whinge about how horrible mean ol' Therese is to him.
April: Oh, good, she's still taking music lessons! Seriously, I am so glad to see that. I would hate like hell for her to be infected either by John's "Don't be ambitious" propaganda, or by the Culture of Self-Esteem that her generation is being raised in. You know, like if you don't get a tongue bath for every little thing you do, it's not worth doing.
And although I could do without all the repetitions of "this is weird, that's weird," I do relate to her being the Oops baby. Gee, April, it's almost like your parents don't see you for who you are, isn't it? Like they think you're some kind of freak, when in fact, you're normal; you're just not an adult.
And I don't see how Deanna is a stranger to you. Didn't you guys cruise Yonge Street a while back? And how does she have time to get so glammed up when she's a working single mom?
And more foreshadowing about Grampa. Tick...tick...tick...And she's still with Gerald? Or is "see if I can find [him]" another foreshadowing, like they're not as close as they once were, otherwise she'd know if he was online or not?
Mike: Oh, GOD! "Haven against the complexities of relationships"?! Your marriage is not complex!! You go downstairs, you TALK to your wife, spend some time with your kids: easy as falling off a log!
And is it possible that the manuscripts you're editing aren't bad? That it's just your dumb ass that can't comprehend them? I can understand how hard it is for you to withhold judgment, Mr. Perfect, but TRY.
And I find it rather hard to believe that the same actual light bulb is still working after sixty years. More likely, it's the fixture that still functions. And of COURSE you won't replace it until it burns out; why would you? And when it DOES, that'll be Deanna's job, right? How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? One: He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
"I have more confidence and make fewer mistakes. By mistakes, I mean errors in judgment." And "higgledy-piggledy" means "a real mess". I sure would never know that no one ever edits your shit.
Deanna: "We've had a spike in traffic, so to speak." WTF? She's worse than John or Mike, really, because at least they use wordplay, even if it's lame, whereas Deanna calls attention to "clever" remarks that aren't changing the meaning of the phrase at all.
But, OMG, she's finally saying it! No beating around the bush: Mike is a lousy husband and father! I mean, that really makes me sick, that he acts like Merrie doesn't exist. Now if only she follows through on her resolution...
Still, sensible shoes, after April said she wears fuck-me boots? Maybe if April only ever saw her on holidays, but we know she's been to their apartment at least once.
Jim: Sigh...What to say? He's just spinning his wheels.
The pets: You took the words right out of my mouth, April. Re: Liz and Shiimsa, that is. Thank god for Paul, that's all I have to say.