John and Elly Patterson, you fail Economics (and Ethics) forever...

The problem that I have with John and Elly's favor-bank system of morals is that not only is it immoral, it flies in the face of standard accounting practices. Let's start with the core belief that makes a misery of their children's lives; simply put, John and Elly believe that every cent that they spend on their children is an voluntary expense that has to be made good instead of an involuntary obligation incurred owing to their actions. The children cannot survive without food and shelter so the people who brought them into the world are obliged to provide it; to suggest otherwise is to declare moral bankruptcy. One is supposed to look after one's children so to rant that it's some sort of bonus is to be less than human. The interesting thing is that their parents have no such expectation; nothing I've seen in the strip's history indicates that the Richardses or senior Pattersons labored under that inhumane misapprehension or that John and Elly would tolerate for long the notion that they were expected to make good the sacrifices their parents gladly made on their behalf. The only conclusion that can be drawn is that John and Elly never really grew up; we see it when John balks at spending his money on things that he doesn't use (kitchen renovations, new appliances, presents the children won't let him play with and so on and so forth) while lavishing himself with toys as reward for dealing with his wife and kids and we see it when our nose is rubbed in the fact that even during the Settlepocalypse, Elly was still the know-nothing know-it-all she was in High School. What's more, we see it when howtheduck's least favorite pattern of behavior comes into play; that annoyance, of course, being their astonishing lack of gratitude. Not only do they not thank people, they complain that it's not enough.

The worst of it, though, is that they get so defensive when their dickish way of life is questioned; you've never endured question-begging, hysteria and irrational cross-accusations until you ask a Patterson "What the Hell, Hero?" This is owing to another stupid hang-up of theirs: their inability to gauge what the children are capable of. There's nothing that reminds us that John has no idea what Mike is all about like his breezy assumption that his son has the inclination or ability to wash the car or rake the lawn; he probably also expects Lizzie to be able to balance a checkbook.