Someone recently threw down a gauntlet and dared someone bored and masochist enough to list the things at which Elly does not excel; I'm bored and I'm something of a masochist so here goes:
- Elly isn't really all that good a housekeeper; since she focuses on non-essential tasks while letting needful chores slideso she can drink coffee, watch soaps, do endless piles of laundry (because she can never do a proper job) and gossip, she ends up looking as if all she does is move the dirt around.
- She also tends to think that horrible slop like Cheapie Weenie Casserole is good food and that serving her children pile-high helpings of foods they hate builds character.
- Next, we have to contend with her being a fractious, inattentive and hostile mother to the children she's too feeble and stupid to keep up with; her royal road to failure stems from her belief that she has no control over the dull, boring, passive children she thinks are demons from Hell sent to torment her.
- She's a lousy spouse to John; it's a marvel that he doesn't react more forcefully to her passive-aggressive bitchery and constant moaning about how the life she wanted didn't turn out like she'd planned.
- She's a horrible pet owner because she can't even remember that Farley isn't human and cannot understand what she wants of him; since her specimen mental failing involves assuming that everyone she encounters is 'meant' to think how she thinks and want what she wants, she regards his following the mandate of his instincts as his being deliberately defiant.
- She's a craptacular student; most of the time, she can barely maintain interest in her coursework because having to focus is haaaaaaaaard and thus baaaaaaaad.
- This leads me into my main complaint: her feckless ineptitude when it comes to her finances. Not only did she try to change the subject when John discussed getting life insurance by telling him he was a bad man who wanted to scare her, she's about to be filled with wounded pride because he tells her to her face that her inability to balance her checkbook is a sign that she's an idiot.