dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote in binky_betsy,

The housening as seen in retconland.

I remember that one of the biggest complaints that we had back in the old days was that Lynn didn't tell the whole story in the strip like she was supposed to; since I was the idiot who made that stupid remark about exile in the first place, it behooves me to remind us all of how the Pattersons saw the various stages of the Housening by consulting the Retcons:

Elly: She started off by making a big, stupid excuse about how Mike and Dee couldn't move to a place as nice as Lovey's barn until their insurance claims were settled; she did notice that they'd expropriated April's room and vaguely wished that Liz would move out but didn't want to push the issue after Evil Paul cheated on her. What this tells me is that she's a God-damned ostrich who couldn't be bothered figuring out what was going on because she wants to believe that everything is fine.

John: We can summarize him by the phrase 'condescending God-damned idiot with his head up his arse'; this is because he started off blathering witlessly about her being a princess because he was too stupid and arrogant to want to actually God-damned find out why she was upset and spent the rest of the year clucking reprovingly about hormones before his oh-so-slow mental processes finally made him come to the conclusion "Chee!! Maybe April feels that we don't give a rat's ass about her."

Mike: He was vaguely aware that the move upset April for reasons that escape him (I love how Mister Bug-on-the-windshield called HER melodramatic) but hadn't the vaguest notion that he wasn't as nearly as close to his little buddy or that April didn't give him her room as much as she was ordered to sleep in the rec room. He also hadn't the vaguest idea that John and Elly were not the only ones to betray her.

Deanna: According to her, April volunteered to give up her room which was real swell of her; her idea of repaying her for her enforced generosity was to want to more or less adopt her so as to convert her to a family retainer.

Liz: She vaguely hints that April is somewhat crabby but thinks that her moving out was a quick fix.

April: We finally hit paydirt; we start with her acknowledging that Mike and Dee somehow need their own lavatory but feels awkward about the whole thing on top of hoping that things get back on track sooner rather than later. We next have her talking about wondering where Mike and Deanna find the patience to deal with the children they don't actually deal with and how Liz is too full of herself to care about what's going on around her before we get to the meat in the Housening sandwich: her ambivalence about moving. The letters paint a portrait of a young woman who knows that this is the only way she can get her own space but still feels a bit frightened by change; what shines through is the fact that she doesn't feel as if there's anyone she can talk to about things. John and Elly are too distant and panicky, Mike is an idiot, Liz is a know-it-all, her bandmates are out of town and Deanna can't keep secrets.

To sum it up, what we have is a bunch of panicky, self-righteous, thin-skinned imbeciles seeing defiance where none exists because they expect to see it and a well-meaning but slightly ticked-off teenager who would feel better if she could simply communicate with someone.

  • Tuesday, 21 September 2021

    The one where Mike catches Liz and Dawn doing something he learned not to do when he was six for the first time.

  • Monday, 20 September 2021

    The one that's more or less "dog bites man" because while it's 'okay' for a toddler to be naked, teenage boys have to wear a shirt when company is…

  • Sunday, 19 September 2021

    The one where we are reminded that Elly hates it that her children have outside interests because she's required to actually BE a parent.…

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