Please forgive me for the terseness of my letter last night. I am always so sleepy once I take the painkiller for my back. Then again, riding a camel along the Nile in Egypt was so worth it, as was seeing London, France, and Matthew's... never mind.
Matthew and I were in Turkey when he noticed the strange bump on my back. It's Melanoma, stage three a. We are very hopeful that we caught it in time and all will be well, but given that it's stage and at our age... let's just say that Matthew and I are setting the date for next month to give us more time together.
While I haven't asked her yet- or informed any of her family, I intend to have April be my maid of honor. My daughters and granddaughters will be the other brides maid, but I wanted a way to say publicly how grateful I am to her for her support and kindness while Jim was so ill. It's something that I won't ever forget.
I would like Dee to do a reading. From reading her emails, I know she is being vilified by the Pattersons for initiating the divorce, though Mike's actions were the catalyst. So often, Dee would drop off a plate of good food from a nearby restaurant, check Jim's medications for interactions, and pour me a cup of tea- and wouldn't leave until I sat down and drank it. Mike, towards the end, got good about bringing the great-grandkids by, and his lovely book did a lot of good. Ideally, they would patch things up.
However, after talking to her, I realize how bad things have gotten for her. It's not just the miscarriage, it's not jut Robin's needs, and it's not just Mike's retreating into his writing. It's the fact he withheld part of himself, the truth about who he is from somebody who watched her best friend struggle with her sexual orientation and would have loved him more for being honest and open about his bisexuality. And she wonders if he could lie about that, what else could he lie about. Any one of the things they have lived through would be enough to strain a marriage- all together, it's enough to destroy it.
I placed flowers on Jim's grave today. I promised him I would try and be nice to his daughter... let's see if I can keep my word.