Demiurgent (demiurgent) wrote in binky_betsy,

Thérèse's letter - October 2009

Hello again to my friends, and additional hellos to my new recipients. As I continue to expand my self-understanding I further wanted to expand what people could see these little update letters. Doctor Robichaud feels that the more open I am, the more likely I can work through some of my lingering issues with my father.

Though it is worth noting that 'working through' does not mean 'attempting to communicate.' He made his feelings clear enough after my tubal ligation, and I have spent too much of my time trying to please him. Eh bien. We move on.

Work has been exceptionally busy this past month. Aeroplan has taken on several new loyalty programs, as well as expanding our campaigns with Esso, and of course the CIBC promotions. We scramble to ensure no one thinks us victims of economic circumstance -- through bold movement do we raise confidence. After the fourth quarter we have to have an aggressive strategy if we're going to expand operations. They took some of my suggestions for writedowns -- we shall have to see what happens next.

Nick has recovered from his downsizing and is working his way up in L'Oréal. He is in marketing now, which I have always felt leveraged his strengths better. He sells. As a bean counter, he was expendable and Aeroplan expended him. He is happy and so am I, and no complications. I will admit, I was proud of how he took the sack -- he was angry, certainly, but it is the economy and we both know how the game is played. It was not twenty four hours before he was on the street and working out of his guaranteed work placement benefit. He is not one to take a setback quietly.

It is, I suppose, a continuing welcome change in my life, though I will admit I have more sympathy for Anthony than once I did. I wonder if our passion on the dance floor came from our similarities after all. I had thought so in the beginning, and I had tried to cast him as the ideal partner in life as well. Now I wonder if we both sensed in the other a need to please a distant, domineering father whose expectations were unrealistic. Perhaps if I had seen him more clearly, things would have been different.

Perhaps not. I cannot say I miss him as a daily presence. Though I will admit, I am getting some benefit out of my monthly flights to Vancouver, and the sessions with Doctor Daigle. Doctor Robichaud says that I am finally working through the issues I couldn't let myself work through before, and he has respect for Pierre Daigle. As well he should -- he recommended him when I mentioned that Anthony and Elizabeth were moving to Vancouver.

Their family trundled back out to Milborough for much of August, and Anthony has flown back several times in September. Apparently, Elizabeth's grandfather passed away. I spoke on the phone to Françoise to see how she was taking the news, but honestly it didn't faze her a bit. She had no real sense of who that man was. There was apparently some bad situation with 'Crazy Grammie,' as Françoise calls the woman, but I don't have a good sense of what it was. Anthony assures me he never left Françoise alone with that woman. That I can take as gospel -- for all my complaints with the man, he has always been dedicated to his daughter.

Anthony. Anthony Anthony Anthony. Mon cher, naïf Antonie. I cannot help but gloat a little as I see him out in Vancouver, earning more money than any accountant in Milborough outside of his father. I knew once upon a time that he had the potential for success -- he simply needed to be pushed into it. He has always been more loyal than wise. Still, the situation with Gavin Caine was such that I cannot blame Anthony for his mistakes. His way of defying his father was to be loyal to a mechanic. His way of defying me was his loyalty to an ideal. Now his loyalties are at last to his family, his daughter and himself. That frees me from having to take on Françoise, and thank the heavens for that.

I do not resent Liz as much as I once did, though I have little time for her nattering. When we first started going to joint therapy she tried very hard to forge common cause with me against Anthony, having been disappointed by the reality of life yet again. At one point she hinted strongly that in any divorce, she would help me get custody of Françoise. I was aghast, but she didn't quite see that. I think I have been good to Françoise, and I have accepted that as she gets older she will need to spend time with me, but to have her all the time? The only person who would be worse off than I is Françoise herself in that situation.

Well, with a child of her own, Liz is finally beginning to grow up a little, and that makes it easier. Françoise adores her, and that is a good thing. She can be the 'buddy' she thinks Françoise wants. Anthony can see that her needs are attended to. And I will do my duty to her. I will admit, she is turning into quite the young lady. And she likes her younger brother a great deal. If 'younger brother' is the right word, given that Françoise and James have no shared blood between them. Well, it is not mine to judge.

Nick and I are looking into making some additional property purchases. I'm considering my options, both locally and elsewhere. Real estate is still considerably undervalued, and the nice thing about it is it endures -- it will cycle back up. In the province I am largely looking at Hull and Rivière-du-Loup -- opposite sides of the province, and very different markets. Diversification is always a goal. My real estate broker is also talking up Magog, though I am not a fan of the more industrial areas. Outside of the province, I am poking around Alberta and Ontario. I'll admit some temptation of a few properties in Milborough. I visit Toronto enough on business that it might be nice to have a stake in the old municipality -- especially now that it is less likely that I might have unexpected shopping mall encounters there.

Enough. I know I write these for my continuing psychological progress, but there is sometimes too much, too easily. Better to be focused. Until November, then -- watch out for Goblins in the night!

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