Hello there again, ladies and laddies; it's your pal Phil subbing for Liz this month. That's because she's not only busy with a phalanx of Richards femininity trying to get the whole motherhood bit down (by which she means not doing anything the way El would) but she's also got to deal with Anthony's not wanting to be snowed by talk about how dark hair runs in the family. This is because of two things. First off, she wasn't paying attention in biology when they were talking about stuff like dominant and recessive traits. Second, she's trying to hide the fact that she seems to taken such violent exception to his screaming and hollering about her being impure last August that she and that bush pilot she used to date took a flight on what April might call Air Roadside. If only he'd do more than huff and puff, I'd feel for him. He's been sitting on the balcony acting all wounded instead of, you know, TALKING about how betrayed he feels. I can't say as I feel too sorry for either of them right now because I know something they're also ignoring: they have a couple of kids caught in the middle of their war. That sort of crap means that they've pretty much copied John and Elly's crappy marriage; the only upside is that Liz might break the cycle of waiting for him to cheat and file for divorce because she can't stand her whiny goof husband.
Speaking of John and Elly, I suppose now that Claire has made her presence felt, I should fess up as to why they always were at cross-purposes. It seems that Johnny Boy might have caught wind of Elly's being loose and not at all a frightened, depressed, anxious, messed-up kid who got in way over her head and was shunned like a leper forty damned years after the fact by previously loving parents. A square like him isn't going to question the preconception that "unwed mother equals tramp" so it's not hard to see why he thought he could get away with so much bullcrap. It also explains why she went off the rails; it seems to me that she saw her chance at being forgiven at long last slip out of her fingers and it broke her. Her need to change the past so that her life went right and some meddler she's convinced will take away all she has got to be so much, it made her escape from reality. It's too bad for all of us that she doesn't know that times have changed; people wouldn't blackball her. They'd turn their attention to the parents who made her feel like she was something they scraped off their shoes and made me swear I wouldn't have kids of my own to jerk around. April, who was busy packing to spend this summer chilling with Bev and Laura on their farm near Winnipeg tells me that the video letter Dad prepped in case Claire showed after he couldn't whine that he wasn't to blame for treating Elly like crap was a masterwork of evasion, pleas that he be pitied for only doing what all the other boorish caveman were doing and pointing the finger of blame on the distaff side of the family. This is a good thing 'cause it means that April has finally started to develop the right attitude about the old goat. She should have done that when he made all those stupid remarks about having a second chance at being a dad if you ask me. As for Claire herself, she didn't expect much from this side of the family and we didn't disappoint on the suckage side of the equation.
Mike's reaction to all this is sort of muted; he's got way too much on his plate to have to worry about the sins of the grandfather. About all he'll say is that this is a plot point he won't put in his auto-bio novel; he mentioned that reality is unrealistic and that it would be more true to life if his fictional Elly just happened to slowly lose her grip. Having something that can't be explained, you see, makes a work of fiction seem a lot more like real life where things are never resolved. I'll let Mike tell you his side of things when he gets the time. Right now, I gotta deal with the two lovebirds; that'll be loads of fun. Catch you on the flipside.