Normally, I wouldn't write a massive email to the people who are so interested in our lives, but this isn't something that I'd feel comfortable posting on myspace or facebook. I remember when I was young and the only way that I'd spread the news is by telephone or in person... but there simply isn't time. I've called John, Phil, Mike, Liz, and April and let them know first. This morning, Jim's cardiologist advised us that it was time for him to enter hospice. He doesn't have much time left, though the doctor told us that he's known people to stay in hospice for two years or longer.
I also talked to Claire just a minute ago, just to give her a heads up. I know that she deserves a chance to meet her grandfather but I don't want Jim upset. I don't want any stress on his heart, not when it's set on seeing his great-grandson born and seeing April graduate. This is the family he knows, he doesn't know Claire.
I understand why Jim and his first wife did what they did, I raised my girls during the time that good girls didn't get caught and a teenage pregnancy was a scandal. I know there were no good choices for the situation. Still, I wish Claire could have known Jim, and I have such questions about her, questions I hope Jim would have if he was still totally here mentally. I wish my googling would have turned up more information on her.
I'm sorry, I need to close this letter now... the day has been too much for me and I still need to organize the nurses, notify our friends, and at some point, I need to break down and cry.