Damn. I hate being right.
Panel 1: We start things off with John asking how Ted's mother is these days. Ted says that she always seems to have "something" wrong with her.
Panel 2: This is why he feels it's so hard to leave home; she needs him, worries about him and always wonders where she is. In other words, she's a passive-aggressive old witch who uses her son's humanity as a means of controlling him and taking away his independence.
Panel 3: John picks up on this and gently but firmly says that Ted might need a woman his own age in his life. Ted boasts that he's no wallflower.
Panel 4: He gets himself out there and has no problem attracting the ladies.
Panel 5: He does, however, have one teensy problem: finding a girl Mommy will let him play with.
Summary: Good luck with that, idiot. Your mother wants to keep you all to herself because she hates your freedom. You'll only get to know a real monogamous relationship AFTER she dies.