dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote in binky_betsy,

Elly's "letter", November 2008

Hello, there again. It's odd that I'd write to you twice in the same month but Michael tells me that for some reason their friends expect to receive updates on the pets' health. Despite Mira's allergies having kept me from owning anything more exciting than a goldfish, I can see how that would be important. In that spirit, I'm going to go a little bit more in depth about his mother's madness. As you may by now know, she's gone more or less on strike as far as being a housekeeper is concerned and her idiot husband hasn't taken up the slack which has turned what used to be a tidy little home into what I believe they call a walk-in sewer. When Mira or I do pop in to remind him that Mike's house isn't his own private grocery store, the sight that greets us is (a) appalling and (b) getting close to being grounds for his arrest for violations of the health code and her involuntary commitment. That, and the letter to her friends she wrote. I can't go into any real detail about it because it's evidence in a legal proceeding we're planning but I can tell you that it's one long poorly-spelled and ungrammatical sentence that describes in incoherent and vulgar detail about how everyone she'd ever met had disappointed her. (Expect, of course for un-daughter April. Since Elly still doesn't remember her, she's just a sassy interloper. I sympathize with her not feeling lucky, though.) Not even Liz escapes her wrath; you see, she should have committed adultery when Pencil-Neck Caine solicited it despite his request coming within seconds of her near-rape. I knew the woman never quite understood how serious that was but this adds a hint of malice and selfishness to her craziness. The general trend of the letter, though, is a series of obscene and ill-thought out threats against Mike's person for disrespecting her tormentor-husband, John. He has "to learn his [expletive deleted] place because we [edited] brought him into this world he OWES us" and so on into the abyss. Not that she has many kind things to say about her jailer: according to her, he's performed every conceivable perverted act (and quite a few inconceivable ones) with the female populace of Metropolitan Toronto. When Dee read it (before adding it to the pile of documents we're forwarding the Mental Health people if John doesn't act), she said Elly had a lot to learn about human anatomy. Fortunately for us, she's retreated into passivity for now. If that changes, you'll be the first to know.


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