Miz Laurel (hoppytoad79) wrote in binky_betsy,
Miz Laurel

Hell Freezing Over and Emotional Affairs

So Liz, on two month’s notice, is going to successfully pull together a Saturday wedding in the middle of wedding season. *goes to look out the window* No flying pigs around here. Anyone see them where they are? *checks online weather information* And no reports of Hell freezing over from southeast Michigan or likelihood it will sometime during the next seven to ten days, either. Jesus hasn’t returned, no news reports of the devil being seen ice-skating anywhere, John Barrowman’s still gay, David Tennant hasn’t shown up to announce his passion for me, I haven’t turned into a man and I’m still waiting to be filthy rich instead of stunningly gorgeous…this makes no sense. There’s no way someone as insignificant as Liz could—oh, wait. Nevermind. My bad. Of course Liz pulled off the impossible. It’s Foobverse and she’s a Patterson. The sun shines out of their butts, they crap gold, the world revolves around them, and the whole of Millborough, other than, would eagerly chug Drano if a Patterson told them to. Theresé wouldn’t because she’s a cold-hearted bitch who hates Liz for no reason and would refuse out of spite, Mira wouldn’t because her whole reason for existing is to argue with people and do the opposite of what they say, and Julia wouldn’t because she has the mentality of a preschooler, so she’d be too busy showing people her dental work to drink anything, and her reason for existing is to make the Pattersons can look smart, well-mannered, and articulate. Oh, yes, and say what Liz and Anthony won’t because...I have no idea. They haven’t made the mental transition from teen to adult? *shrugs* Doesn’t matter. Whatever the reason, Julia speaks for them. Lizthony’s Greek chorus, if you will, clarifying everything and filling in the details the main players can’t/won’t.

The link to an article on Decoding the Emotional Affair was in my email earlier. How totally aprops.

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