- sloppy, rambling speech, like totally, filled up with, like, slang (most of which is surrounded by quotation marks to remind us it isn't proper English) from twenty years ago an' bad grammar.
- equivocation. Trying to get a definite answer out of these people is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
- over-earnestness. Their humorless, overblown reaction to life's petty annoyances betrays the fact that they're dim people who take life way too seriously. I'm embarassed for them.
- incoherent thinking. Seeing these chowderheads spout pious, ill-conceived nonsense makes me channel Daria and ask if there's uranium in the drinking water.
What makes this so damned annoying is that April and her siblings shouldn't really feature so prominently in the strip. I've gone on record as stating that I think that John and Elly should have remained the focus of the strip. We could have a week or two of April every so often, just like we could have a week or two of Mike and Liz but we should be watching JSTF and Flapandhonk and their lives. Watching them try to make sense of the twenty-first century is a far more enticing concept than a stale retread of Saved by the Bell, don't you think? Half of the problem with the strip is, after all, that Lynn isn't writing about anything she's experienced for a while. If she were to write what she knows, the dialogue wouldn't be half as wooden nor the plotlines so inasanely implausible. My favorite example of that is "John applies for a variance from the Municipal Government so he can build his model train layout." Even if she were to write it the poor way she's doing now, it would be more exciting to read about than Miracle Dresses, Tomes of Glurge and talking shit about D-list pop tarts.