John: I know you're trying to diet, so I'm going to be a big douchebag and tell you how delicious everything is while I stuff my face.
Elly: That's nice dear, but I couldn't possibly let you see me eat. That would be wrong. Instead, I must appear to always be the great martyr, and only inhale giant piles of food when no one can see.
Elly, that's not a diet. That's an eating disorder. I'd have sympathy for you except I'm already tired of hearing about your fat ass.