Panel 1: Now, that's sad. Sad that Jim can't communicate, and sad that it's important to him to congratulate Mike. And I love how everyone takes it for granted that this is Mike's FIRST book. How do they know it won't be his ONLY book? But of course, nothing created by a Patterson could possibly end up in the remainder bin. Of course he'll write more and bigger and better books, and get bigger advances, and get tongue baths from critics and be a celebrity writer. This is only the BEGINNING.
Panel 2: Oh dear, he can't even write. That answers that question. Sigh.
Panel 3: I feel your pain, Jim.
Panel 4: Great; now Iris thinks he's deliberately trying to cause problems. Why. Couldn't. Lynn. Have let him die. With. Dignity?
Panel 5: Very fracking funny. That is really, REALLY reaching for a pun. Thank god it's Saturday.
Oh, and speaking of made-up curses, has everyone been briefed that the new word is "boxcar"? I recommend using it in the Joshreads style. As in, "I'm so [boxcar]ing sick of hearing about Mike's [boxcar]ing book. Go [boxcar] yourself, Michaelagh." I also recommend using square brackets, because LiveJournal tends to swallow anything in <> that it does not recongnize.
Also, here's another SA thread on FOOB! http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2308274&perpage=40&pagenumber=1