Panel 1: I forget who it was -- I'm thinking Groucho, but I could be wrong -- who said, "From the moment I picked up this book until the moment I put it down, I could not stop laughing. Someday I hope to read it." Also, it looks like the letter writer is calling Mike "son".
Meanwhile, here's one of my rejection letters, chosen at random. Dear Author, Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your work.
Panel 2: In their fall lineup? People in the know, how plausible is that? I'm glad someone acknowledged the "few adjustments", though. Of course, they'd never want to make any changes that did not rend at Sheilagh's very soul.
Due to a backlog of submissions, we regrettably must resort to this form letter. Please know that we have read and carefully considered your submission.
Panel 3: With his comments? No lawyer or anything? What, does he get to veto the terms on his own?
Unfortunately, we feel that your work is not right for us at this time. You will undoubtedly wish to submit to other agencies or publishers.
Panel 4: I know what, Deanna. Mike looks disgusting.
Thank you for your interest in (literary agency). We regret that we cannot offer representation, and we wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
Panel 5: There's the fish-out-of-water look from Deanna. And Mike's expression is scary. Is he already planning his speech for when he tells Deanna that they're just not compatible any more and so forth?
Sincerely, Young Adult Department, (literary agency).
That really happens, too.
I suppose it's just as well, though. If Mike had gotten rejection letters, then we'd just have to hear about how stupid everyone who turned him down was, and he and Elly and Deanna would carry on as if no one had ever suffered such an indignity before.