October 15th, 2021

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 17 October 2021

The one where John is too stupid to remember that he has a kid and a dog so refuses to take steps to keep them from making putting groceries away a hassle.

Panel 1: We start things off with John at the grocery store carrying April on his back on one of those sling deals. Since he's not paying attention to his child, he doesn't notice her grabbing onto a hunk of corn silk.

Panel 2: We get hit over the head hard with the theme when she puts a mustache on Daddy: 'Children are BAD because they do things that bad people tell us to expect but we can't because we're just girls."

Panel 3: Since it's October, we get the obligatory blowing leaves when John gets back home and opens the door.

Panel 4: Since he's stupid, he puts something within reach of a curious toddler and is astonished and horrified when she starts playing around with the oddly-packed pancake batter.

Panel 5: He actually pays attention when he bathes April immediately which leads to another peril only he and Elly cannot expect.

Panel 6: Said peril is the dog he's too stupid to remember he has.

Panel 7: He angrily bellows at Farley....which has the result of white pawprints over the carpet.

Panel 8: Since he's in an all-fired rush for no reason, he loses track of April when he vacuums the carpet.

Panel 9: He freaks out when she plays with the bathroom tissue.

Panel 10: After a day of self-induced trauma, Elly rubs salt in the wound and gives him someone to blame for his own failure that ain't him when it's revealed that she did this on purpose to make him hate April too.

Summary: Since John is Lynn, he shares her inability to realize that it's not the kid and dog's fault that he's too stupid to take steps to keep them out of harm's way. All he takes away is that children are bad and hate parents.