September 9th, 2020

Snarky Candiru2

Friday, 11 September 2020

The one where an elementary school principal is a proxy for Lynn's need to caterwaul that children grow too fast.

(Original Publication Date, 5 September 1991)

Panel 1: We start things off with Liz complimenting another girl on her cool hairstyle while a fourth girl impresses Dawn by saying that she got her ears pierced again. To us, this is a normal conversation between peers. Guess what it is to Lynn and Elly.

Panel 2: The whining and alarmist punchline continues to write itself when we go into silhouette mode when Liz asks if anyone has lipstick only to have a fifth girl supply it and Dawn asks if the fourth is wearing perfume and is told "Yeah. It's called 'First Kiss.'"

(Note: Elly thinks it's the END OF THE WORLD because Liz can do an end-run around her decrees.)

Panel 3: We then watch Liz tell the others to check out some dude in butt-hugger jeans. Lynn embarrasses herself by trying to simulate teenage dialogue as Dawn leads off with "Fresh flesh!", the Allyson clone says "Wee-ohh" and Miss Cool Hairstyle gushes "Interesting."

Panel 4: Having observed this, a male teacher asks a woman "What I want to know is....what happened to the little Grade 5 girls who left us last summer?"

Summary: They grew up when you weren't paying attention to them, LynnIdiot. It happens and it isn't personal.....unless you're the stupid woman we see tomorrow.