September 5th, 2020

Snarky Candiru2

Labour Day 2020

The one where we continue our slow-speed pitched battle between Liz and Elly that has as its source Elly's need to believe that Liz's need to fit in with her peers is actually her wanting Marian to materialize out of the luminiferous ether and call Elly an unfit mother.

(Original Publication Date, 3 September 1991)

Panel 1: We find ourselves in the kitchen on the first day of school. Given Elly's narrow focus on threats to her image to the exclusion of large, easily avoidable obstacles like a sleeping dog, it's rather easy to understand why she has a laser-like focus on the fact that Liz tried to put on make-up before she was 'ready' (meaning 'twenty years after Elly herself fucking dies'); since Liz wants to avoid punishment, she makes a half-hearted comment about how she kinda sorta put in on then washed it off.

Panel 2: Again, Elly's hypersensitivity to things that 'matter' afford her superpowers that allow her to see the not especially noticeable remnants of make-up. When she tells Liz to wash again, Liz drops an Aw, MOOOOOOM!!!! bomb. (Fun fact: Jan Eliot's go-to slam of her own eldest daughter for finding her mom to be uncool is 'MUTHUR.')

Panel 3: As Mike looks on, Liz does something she should have realized is totally futile when she says that other kids wear make-up so why shouldn't see. As we know, that cuts no ice with Elly whatsoever so she does the pious close-eye lecture thing and talks about how children Liz's age have beautiful natural colouring.

What this means is that a) Elly is afraid that other parents will call her a failure if Liz is seen with a smudge of lip-gloss on her face and b) her mother will teleport to the house to berate her for her incompetence.

Panel 4: Having noticed that Liz's attempt to fit in with her peers has yet again been frustrated by a crazy nag who thinks that a bit of lip gloss means that Liz wants to sex and drug herself, Mike grins a greasy grin that so totally needs a fist in it and says "Especially red."
Summary: Someone should develop five words to help Mike in this life: "Shut the fuck up, Communist."; we also need a rule-of-thumb to help Elly out: "Half-assed over-parenting when it doesn't matter doesn't make up for half-assed under-parenting when it does."