August 21st, 2020

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 23 August 2020

The one where Lynn takes one last parting shot at Aaron for spending a lot of her money on clothes he wears out much too quickly.

(Original Publication Date, 25 August 1991)

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Elly go goggle-eyed in horror when she asks Mike if the fancy athletic shoes he's holding are the sneakers he wants her to buy him. He insists that they are not sneakers.

Panel 2: I proceed to break Lynn's heart and ruin her joy in writing the strip by predicting the end game from his smug remark about how they're pneumo-podiatric, torsion-molded, bio-athletic foot gear.

Panel 3: Elly revolts at the sticker price of one hundred and fifty dollars while Mike says that they're high tech and everyone has them. Neither factor weighs heavily on Elly's mind because she's the one that has to pay for things that wear out too fast. (Actually, John's the one doing that but let her dream that she's important.)

(Also, check out the name of the shoe maker: GREEDOK. Subtle, eh?)

Panel 4: Lynn turns Mike into a mouthpiece for her hatred of advertising and buzzwords meant to part her from her money when she wants to buy the cheapest possible thing to make herself feel virtuous as he tells her to read the product info: "Individually crafted, torsion tested, adjustable pneumatic molding conforms to the shape of the ankle, heel and forefoot. Designed to cushion and protect."

Panel 5: "Dual density mid-sole provides stability and shock absorption. Carbon rubber outsole. Perforated vamp scientifically designed for today's sporting and conditioning activities."

("Infelicitous attempt to mock advertising jargon meant to pad strip that should have been a daily.")

Panel 6: When she says that she still doesn't see why he needs a pair of sneakers he'll wear out in about like a week that cost that much money when he can buy ordinary ones that aren't such a problem to replace, he says that normal shoes aren't designed for his lifestyle.

Panel 7: Elly glumly pays for the expensive shoes as Mike looks on in smug satisfaction.

Panel 8: Later on, we find him ruining the expensive new shoes scraping the soles on the ground as he rides a bike unsafely.

Summary: What we got here is another example of Lynn being not especially smart. Of course a dumb kid is going to burn through things if someone pays for his damages without visible complaint. Also, she shouldn't comment on the irony of Aaron being more careful when he has to replace things what with her bankrolling him so she can feel like she's his mother or something.