July 24th, 2020

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 26 July 2020

The fridge-worthy one where John has the good sense to envy the elderly married couple Elly finds mildly amusing.

(Original Publication Date, 28 July 1991)

Panel 1: We find ourselves in the local park of a summer afternoon watching Elly ask John if he knows what she most likes about strolling through it. He should probably say "How no one tells her that the way she's got April in the baby carrier makes her look like she's given birth to Master Blaster."

Panel 2: Since her self-awareness is pure in its absence as her fashion sense, she doesn't realize how big a hypocrite she is by saying that she loves looking at all of the funny looking people she sees.

Panel 3: The strip proper begins with her fixating on an elderly married couple who act kind of like newlyweds. She points them out to John and asks him to guess their age. Her own guess is anywhere between seventy-five and eighty.

Panel 4: Since she believes that love is an irrational thing that screws everything up, she smiles broadly at how funny they are walking close together and holding hands.

Panel 5: Instead of having the decency and good sense to find this touching, she asks John to agree that the two are a laugh riot acting as if the last sixty years of their lives are just yesterday.

Panel 6: She sets herself for bafflement when she says that it seems funny that people that old haven't outgrown the evils of affection yet. John mutters 'Uh-huh.'

Panel 7: He then leaves Elly gobsmacked when he says that he hopes that the two of them can be like that some day.

Summary: John might not be an especially nice, kind or wise person most of the time but today, he wins at life. Elly does not. Elly is a simpleton who's currently engaged in torpedoing a relationship she does not approve of because the dozy prat thinks that affection leads to the sex that is only for making babies. This will never be him and Elly because once she can no longer have children, affection is something that must go away because it isn't needed. Elly is a fucking jerk.