June 7th, 2020

Snarky Candiru2

Tuesday, 9 June 2020

The one where Mike does not want to be seen to be babysitting 'The Ape' because it would destroy his reputation.

(Original Publication Date, 11 June 1991)

Panel 1: A few minutes later, Whiny Dipshit Mike whines to Gordon that he can't come over to his place tonight because he gotta baby-sit The Ape. This means we're before Mike's transition from "Sullen Q Shitgibbon" to "The Delicate Genius" and also before someone sat Lynn down and explained to her that audiences are going to wonder why Plantman shot John Darling when there's a more viable candidate for having his head ventilated in a fourteen year old punk who gave a newborn an insulting nickname.

Panel 2: He then moans about being correctly assessed as a nitwit who'd let her drink bleach when he talks about the instructions he was given and bitches about not being allowed to tie up the phone in case John and Elly need to call.

Panel 3: Since Gordon is smart enough to remember that Mike is probably too stupid to live, he asks if he can come over and help only to be refused. He then asks why not.

Panel 4: As he burps April, The Human Doorstop thought-bubbles that he doesn't want anyone to see him like this. He could be mistaken for the most degraded sort of person on the planet: a housewife.

Summary: Once again, Mike's moaning about having to do things he doesn't want to do marches in lockstep with his moronic dread of being teased by four lunkheads who ain't really his friends.