March 1st, 2020

Snarky Candiru2

Tuesday, 3 March 2020

I will teach you the Twoo Wuv. It is this lightning. It is this refusal to see the simple solution when it's staring you in the face. It is this need Lynn has to sanctify marrying right out of high school.

(Original Publication Date, 5 March 1991)

Panel 1: We actually finally meet Tracey when she laughs herself silly at the idea Mike and Lawrence have of herself and Gordon going together. Since she's a kid who doesn't know what love is, she thinks that the very idea of not marrying someone she has everything in common with is absurd.

Panel 2: Gordon is also stupid, useless and in denial as to what he's meant to do in life when he responds to her laughter by asking her if she believes something she thinks is laughable and reminding us that they're buddies. Meanwhile, John and Elly are best friends. John and Elly are best friends.

Panel 3: We then see another commonality: fixating on false romantic leads. He would give anything to date Allyson while she wishes that Martin Bean knew who she was. Given that she was just created five seconds ago, good luck with that.

Panel 4: Since I do a really nasty thing called "remembering where these two goofs end up", I know the answer to a question they pose. That's because when he says it's good that they aren't dating, she wonders what they'd have to talk about if they were.

Summary: Since we do know that Tracey can't wait to make catty remarks about someone Gordon would have stood no chance with even if he had behaved like a human being instead of a monster horror deviant freak, I should think that they'll have lots to talk about: how terrible people who make them feel uncomfortable about who they are happen to be and how they deserve to get mauled so that a pair of shiftless idiots plow through human lives unopposed.