February 29th, 2020


Monday, 02 March 2020

Gordon retcons his history with his future wife, Tracey Wells.

(Original Publication Date, 4 March 1991)

Panel 1:  Gordon says that he is not going to date Tracey Wells, because he has known her since kindergarten.  Right away this causes continuity issues.  Gordon started off meeting Michael and Lawrence for the first time in Grade 3 when they were in Grade 2. 

Also Gordon was a new kid in school.

We have long since accepted the retcon that Gordon is now in the same grade as Michael and Lawrence starting when they hit Grade 6, possibly because Michael repeated Grade 5.

However, this new retcon means that either Gordon is now claiming to have been in the same school system since kindergarten or he is claiming that whatever kindergarten he went to, Tracey was also there.  The biggest thing the reader has to absorb is the idea that Gordon has known Tracey for a very long time and she is known to Mike and Lawrence, even though we readers have never met her before.

Michael argues against Gordon by saying, “She’s cute, Gord.”

Panel 2:   Gordon says, “We used to play together.   Her parents visit my parents.”  This is before Lynn Johnston established that Gordon’s parent were both alcoholics and his dad beat him.  Prior to this point, the main criticism of Gordon’s parents were that they were permissive.  Gordon was allowed to go to the video gaming place that Michael was not allowed to go to.   Gordon’s parents bought him roller skates, while Elly and John made Michael save the money to pay for the skates that he never actually ended up getting.   That version of Gordon’s parents are probably the parents Tracey’s parents visited.

Lawrence argues against Gordon by saying, “She’s nice, too.”

Listen to Lawrence and Michael go on about how great Tracey Wells is.  Tracey is literally the only girl in the school who can tolerate Gordon AND she’s cute AND she’s nice.   Given those criteria, Tracey Wells is the best girl in the school and possibly the best girl in the entire Foobiverse.   You have to wonder why Michael or Lawrence are not dating her.   The answer to this is (of course) that after he splits with Martha, Michael does ask Tracey out for at least one date (and possibly more that we don’t hear about), but we will save that conversation for next year. 

Panel 3: Later on, they are out of the classroom and putting books into their lockers in preparation to go home and Gordon decides to continue the conversation, by proclaiming he is not gonna date Tracey Wells!!  Michael asks him, “Why not?” even though Gordon gave him a reason in the first two panels:  Gordon has known Tracey since she was little.  Oh, Gordon.  Clearly you have not read the “Must marry childhood sweetheart” rules for marriage in this comic strip. 

Panel 4: Gordon proclaims that Tracy is crazy about Martin Bean.  Mike looks startled.  How could it be that Mike and Gordon have been having this conversation for days and this is the first time this has come up?  This reminds me a lot of when I was in high school and my mother would make suggestions about who I could date and I would respond with things like, “I can’t date so-and-so, because she’s dating so-and-so.”  I was not a social butterfly by any means, but I was aware of who was dating whom and my mom, understandably, did not.  Michael at this point seems like my mother with his ignorance. 

Summary: dreadedcandiru2 is back tomorrow with the first appearance of Tracey Wells and then we will wait until December for her second appearance.