February 27th, 2020


Saturday, 29 February 2020

Michael and his crew discuss Gordon’s future wife, Tracey Wells, for the first time. In the meantime, readers back in 1991 were thinking, “Did a miss a day? I don’t remember a Tracey.”

(Original Publication Date, 2 March 1991)

Panel 1: Michael explains to Gordon (or Gord as he calls him) that he goes after girls that are unattainable. No, Michael. I think it is fairly safe to say that the “hormone attack” method of attracting girls would not work even for the most “attainable” girls. At this point, you would hope that since this is being written by a woman, someone would overhear Michael and let him know that women are not pieces of property to be “attained.”

Panel 2: Artistically, this is a terrible panel. The action is with Michael and Gordon and they are tiny figures in the back of the comic strip facing away from the reader. The girl with the giant hoop earring is in the front and in the colourized version, she is the only one with skin tone. However, more mysterious than any of them is the guy to the right who appears to be kicking the door jamb instead of going through the doorway. Why is he doing that? What does it have to do with the story?

Panel 3: Michael shocks Gordon with the suggestion that he should ask out the one girl Gordon knows who likes him. In other words, she is the only girl in school who doesn’t know about the “hormone attacks.” This is probably because Tracey was not created until after Gordon had his last hormone attack, so she is effectively a new girl at school and only 1 day old. While Gordon is shocked, Lawrence sticks his head about the corner of Gordon and has his head at a slight tilt as if Gordon was a wall. Why is Lawrence doing that? There’s room there for him to stand up straight.

Panel 4: Gordon goes for the stereotypical punchline about how marriage “ruins a perfectly good friendship.” Michael appears to be in shock. Possibly this is because Gordon has gone for a line that seem to have been taken out of a woman’s magazine.

Cosmo Milborough style:
10 Things You Do Can Ruin A Perfectly Good Relationship.
Am I Ruining My Relationship? 5 Signs You're Sabotaging It.
How To Ruin A Great Relationship In 8 Easy Steps.

Summary: Tracey Wells is a very unusual girl. She likes Gordon. Weird.