February 3rd, 2020

Cynical Candiru

Wednesday, 5 February 2020

The one where John lets Elly down by not being a hysterical and stubborn idiot who believes in inherently unsafe things.

(Original Publication Date, 6 January 1991)

Panel 1: Mike continues to do something futile when he points out that children who are younger than he is are riding four-wheelers and what Lynn calls snow machines (and what I call snowmobiles); said futile thing is try to get his sulking infant mother to say something that isn't "I don't care."

Panel 2: She then hints broadly at her real issue with them by calling them noisy (which makes them bad because they disrupt her beloved state of being in a stupor), dangerous (which makes them bad because she has to pay attention to her surroundings at all times instead of treating her sedan like a four-door womb) and impractical (which makes them bad because she cannot ferry kids, groceries and lumber on them) so as long as he lives there, he is not going to have one. It should be noted at this point that her angry squawking has finally gotten John to put down his paper and see what the wife is screaming about now.

Panel 3: Since she forgets who she married, she tells John to talk some sense into Mike. He says "okay."

Panel 4: Since he does something evil and wrong and bad and wife-hating called "understanding what the idle fantasy of a goofy kid is and not acting as if it's the end of the world", Elly stands around looking like someone hit her on the back of the head with a two by four when he asks Mike what kinds of bike he's been looking at.

Summary: John can do so because John has a memory. John remembers that despite the idiotic clucking noises Elly made at the time, she would have rammed into Pervrett driving her land yacht because she can't be asked to pay attention to her surroundings. That's why motorbikes are bad, people! They force a dumbass like Elly to smarten the fuck up and pay attention. We could well see her and Lynn fulminate against "slow down and move over" laws meant to protect first responders and tow operators for the same fucking reason.