January 30th, 2020

Snarky Candiru2

Saturday, 1 February 2020

The one where Elly tells Mike that she gets nothing to show for her years of chasing after his dumb ass.

(Original Publication Date, 2 February 1991)

Panel 1: Elly greets Mike at the door and asks him how baby-sitting went. He does an almost Schulz yell and says "Eleven bucks! I put up with three zombies from Hell for eleven bucks!!" (Insert comment about Elly putting up with a zombie from Hell for fourteen years here.)

Panel 2: Bug-Eyed With Horror Mike says that there's got to be a better way of making a living. Elly tells him that he's almost fifteen so she's sure he could wash dishes, stock shelves or sweep porc.....floors somewhere.

Panel 3: He witlessly guarantees that he's spending four weeks on Exile Farm being brainwashed into being even more paranoid about Martha than he already is by telling her that those things are boring and also only pay minimum wage; she hands out an invitation to the pity party by saying that it's better than what she gets.

Panel 4: He's baffled as anything when she says that she does all of those things for nothing. This is because he's too stupid to understand that her reason for being is soliciting pity. He also believes that what Elly does isn't work because he's the son of a pub bore without a pub.

Summary: This is why I make all of that annoying noise about clutching poor Elly to our bosom and crying bitter, angry tears because her life is the worst life ever. We're dealing with an annoying clod who wants a ticker-tape parade and a pile of money for every little thing she does. Ah, well. Next week, motorcycles are bad because Elly has to think once, think twice, think bike.