January 12th, 2020

Snarky Candiru2

Tuesday, 14 January 2020

The one where Elly is a liar because if she remembered the past, she'd make sure to supervise her teeming get so she can land on her idiot son with both feet the second he goes too far.

(Original Publication Date, 15 January 1991)

Panel 1: We transition to something oh-so-typical when Elly opens the window and yells "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" at her kids when they're actually enjoying themselves for once. They give her the unsatisfying answer "Having a snowball fight."

Panel 2: Elly goes back to her super-important "Let's spend hours on end yapping about how big a burden children are" session and tells Connie that she knows what's going to happen. Sooner or later, the playing will get too rough and it will end in tears.

Panel 3: No sooner does she say that any second now, someone (meaning Liz) is going to run in crying than Liz yells "MOM!!!!"

Panel 4: As Liz cries about whatever stupid thing Mike did, Elly says that it's not foreseeing the future that counts, it's remembering the past. This is a half-truth because while she remembers events, she does not remember causes. If she remembered causes, she'd end up being a useless housewife whose life is wasted because it rotates around her children and not herself.

Summary: Elly might remember that her children fight like scorpions if left to themselves but she does not know why. The reason why is that she cannot be asked to care about their feelings. She tends to give long, defensive lectures about how they should know that whatever the other person did isn't important to anyone ever and thus guarantees the conflict she would love to see end.