January 9th, 2020

Snarky Candiru2

Saturday, 11 January 2020: Enter The Lizardbreath

The one where we pivot to Liz being a moody jerk to April because she blames her for her idiot mother's habit of seeing her as a free babysitter and not as a child.

(Original Publication Date, 12 January 1991)

Panel 1: History repeats itself when we see Liz angrily stomping on a toy because she's sick of it all. She's sick of hearing about the new baby because it's all her parents ever talk about. This tells me that like Mike before her, she blames the child for the blank-witted monomania of her idiot mother.

Panel 2: Another commonality she has with The Human Doorstop is her commenting on the injustice of having almost all of the stuff Mom got for Christmas being stuff for a kid who isn't even born yet. This is because both of them are unusually naive, ignorant and ill-informed children lacking in curiosity as to how things work.

Panel 3: She does guess right when she knows what's going to happen: Mike is going to take off all the time so she's the one expected to change, feed and babysit the new addition. Reason: Elly can't be asked to do so because HER life matters and Liz's life is nothing but empty, wasted time that needs filling up with chores. She doesn't need friends, free time or space to learn what social norms are because she owes her parents everything.

Panel 4: Liz is sick about hearing about the new baby....but she still can't wait until it gets here. Once the child is born, the whining, malicious little turd can spend her life punishing her for their parents' sins.

If you were paying attention, you'll realize that cute, harmless little Lizzie has just died. In her place is a monster of resentment, entitlement and stupidity we call Lizardbreath.

Summary: The irritating payoff is that twenty-nine years on, Lizardbreath is probably no closer to having gotten over becoming a middle child than Mike The Human Doorstop has to having siblings to have to share things with. This self-pitying stupidity of theirs comes to an end when they die. Given the moron monomania that's bred in the bone, watching her make dismissive comments about picky-faces and evil career women is a horrifying inevitability.....as is her being a worse monster as a mother than Elly is.