October 30th, 2019

Snarky Candiru2

Friday, 1 November 2019

We begin November with a sort of greeting card thing that has Elly tell her unborn child that she thinks she's going to like it out in the world that contains lovely things like overflowing streams and insane idiots who KNOW that she knows that Daddy left them to play harmonica in a bar band, they just KNOW it.

(Original Publication Date, 1 November 1990)

Panel 1: As Elly rakes the leaves herself, she looks up at the sky and tells herself that the autumn has been beautiful but she can feel winter coming in the air.

Panel 2: She makes the odd choice of personifying Winter as female when she says that her arrival means that along with the frost she's bringing, she's also got frost and glitter, white, blowing snow and clear, snowy nights. Perhaps she will also help her sister, a hot guy and a snowman fight villains like herself, a hot guy and a snowman after singing a "You only live once" song.

(What is left out of her reverie is driving herself into ditches because she doesn't realize that in winter conditions, all season tires are as useful as a Band-Aid on a stab wound, screaming at children for leaving winter gear all over the hallway and bitching about the heating bill.)

Panel 3: After that, it will be Spring again. The ground will thaw and warm rains will waken the flowers out of a deep sleep after a long slumber(and also flood her basement because it's too much like work for anyone to check the drainage system). Then comes Summer (and going into hysterics because the children will be underfoot ALL DAY!!!)

Panel 4: Having ignored all the things that bug her because she's not looking at them and because exposure to nature brings out the punk poet in Lynn, Elly tells the baby she thinks that he or she is going to like it out here.

Summary: Yeah. She's going to like spending the rest of the strip being thought of as a hindrance because 'we want to retire NOW!!!" and because someone can't listen to warnings about people who are sand in the chewing gum of life. Being surrounded by unsympathetic assbuckets who call her a picky-face Martian princess because she doesn't know that she has to go away unless she smiles stupidly no matter what shit her idiot relatives hurl at her is supposed to be a non-stop thrill ride through Candyland. Being the target of blind rage from scuzzwad bloggers who insist that she be forced to grovel pathetically in apology forever and always because a fucking DOG died is bliss eternal, supposedly.