September 12th, 2019

Snarky Candiru2

Saturday, 14 September 2019

John and Elly are most definitely not on the same page about what a horrible, unfair and cruel calamity having a third child is.

(Original Publicastion Date, 15 September 1990)

Panel 1: Hours later, we find John and Elly sitting at the table trying to digest the news of a third child. We contrast Elly's gloomy thought-bubble of "Dirty diapers....late night feedings" with John's more upbeat and sentiment "Music boxes....teddy bears" so we can be hit over the head with the fact that Elly has to do all the work and John swoops down when it's fun and leaves in a baffled huff muttering "What does this child WANT? Why did we raise a princess?" when it ain't.

Panel 2: We get more of the same when she reminds herself that they sold all the baby clothes and crib when Liz was four and they have no room anyway. John forgets that practical detail to gush about baby giggles, baby hugs and that very first step.

Panel 3: We get to what Elly will hold against April for the rest of her life (and perhaps beyond) when she realizes that she might have to either quit her non-job or go back to working part time. This is AWFUL because she'll be tied down again! Meanwhile, the oaf husband who has never understood how little Elly likes having to actually raise children (or wanted to because he believes in a fake, bullshit, no way maternal instinct that kicks in automatically) likes the idea of a third child.

Panel 4: Meanwhile, Elly reminds us that she thinks that everyone knows that this is a tragedy when she says that they must be thinking the same things.

Summary: He might like the idea now but we all know that when it stops being fun, John has no immediate use for his kids. When it's not fun, they have emotional needs he doesn't want to meet because doing so is a reminder that he's an ogre, a dolt and a man-child with a distinct aversion to finding out who the people around him are and what they want because he's a self-absorbed jackass who thinks that the only problem a child could possibly have is with him because everything else is all about him too. The idea that a child is in a bad mood because she doesn't fit in can't register because it's not a problem that involves him.