September 2nd, 2019

Royally Peeved Candiru

Wednesday, 4 September 2019

Since nothing teaches Mike that Elly was not put on this Earth to wait on him hand and foot, he reacts to being told to do something I would have loved to be allowed to do in a manner that allows him to bitch that 'Mom forgot my lunch because she's always on my case about being spoiled, selfish, lazy and quit saying I'm proving her point."

(Original Publication Date, 5 September 1990)

Panel 1: We continue the getting ready for the first day of school arc with Mike ignoring the fact that Elly is motherfucking busy, damn it and treating her the way he always does: like his God-damned maid. This is because the godless idiot doesn't realize or care that his breezily telling her that he wants cold cuts and cheese without as much mustard as she usually puts on is why she's giving him the stink eye.

Panel 2: We continue on with our look at advanced stage nub-itis when he also states that she should put in carrot sticks, a couple of oatmeal cookies and that ever neat tropical fruit juice with guava and pineapple. Elly gives him the "Are you shitting me?" look while I hope that he chokes on his Wheeto-Puffs for being a spoiled brat.

Panel 3: When told that he has time to make his own lunch, he reacts in horror to the very idea. What does Mom think he is? A housewife? Where are her priorities and why does she hate him so much that she makes him do her job? Why has he not evolved any from the dozy little mongrel jerk five year old who thinks that Mommy is telling him an evil lie to trick him when she says that she gets sick too?

Meanwhile, I would have loved to be told that. I know that my parents had to stretch a buck but mac and cheese loaf is the cheapest cold cut for a reason: it tastes like crap.

Panel 4: When Liz asks Elly what Mike took for lunch, world-weary Elly says "A bun and an apple."

Summary: This, of course, is aimed at Aaron for acting all adult and mature except when it comes time to do things that require effort....whereupon he devolves back into the spoiled, lazy, selfish and stupid little boy who is not only horrified and confused by the concept that Mommies get sick too, he also thinks that people make him clean his room because they hate him. Also, people look at this and say "Sometimes, my kids do the same dumb thing for the same dumb reason. It's like they can't even see how busy I am or something!!"