July 29th, 2019

Snarky Candiru2

Wednesday, 31 July 2019

Mike interrupts Elly's "BAD! BAD! WRONG! WRONG! STOP FAKING TEARS!" speech to remind us that clumsy, slow-witted, inattentive idiot women who don't know what's going on around them raise oblivious dullard children.

Panel 1: Unsympathetic Idiot Bitch Elly looks at Liz like she's a radioactive leper when she tells John that Liz's lost her glasses. They looked everywhere (this turns out to not actually be the case), they asked everyone (again, flat-out wrong) and they are gone.

Panel 2: We're reminded that Liz will remember this as "The day Mom freaked out because I'd mislaid my glasses and STILL holds against me" when the twelve-cylinder whack-job unloads on Liz about having to order another pair. As she rants about the cost (which is pretty much a non-issue given that she's standing next to a man with a licence to coin money) and honestly, how could she be so careless and stupid, Mike makes the scene to ask if these are her car keys.

Panel 3: As Liz stifles a giggle and John remembers how he was supposed to act as if a dent his insurance covered no problem was supposed to be an affirmative defence for assault because he married a crazy nitwit who thinks that every little thing is a huge fucking crisis, Elly is gobsmacked when Mike says that he found them on the lawn.

Summary: This is yet another thing I've held back talking about: Elly is a God-damned fine person to criticize other people for not paying attention. She can blame sports cars and the men who buy them all she likes but she still zoned out because she got overconfident and rammed into some dude. She'd have plowed into Pervrett in a Buick that day because she cannot brain. She has the dumb.