June 7th, 2019

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 9 June 2019

Aaron is nagged by proxy for wanting to watch entertainment programming and thus not allowing Lynn to virtue signal in real life.

Panel 1: We find Mike in the rec room trying to find something to watch. The first channel he finds is most likely a PBS station because he's being invited to pay particular attention to a work by Stravinski so that he can take note of the powerful use of a certain instrument. Since Igor never wrote anything 'good' like "Muh Gurl Done Me Wrong", he changes the channel in order to avoid being bombarded with old people music. Since we're being beaten over the head about how Lynn's children are mindless clods who are bad because they think that television is an entertainment medium, we don't need Panels 2 through 7 but get them anyway.

Panel 2: Next comes a sort of University Of The Air thing about cellular division. Since he doesn't want a lecture about biology, it's Thank U Nxt to that.

Panel 3: We are reminded that this was originally written back when there were two Germanies when Mike doesn't wanna watch a boring nooooooz program about a fall of a wall someplace he never heard of called "Berlin."

Panel 4: When Mike hears the words "scientist" and "neutrino" used in a sentence on screen, the need to avoid science class on the box makes it easy for him to switch to something else.

Panel 5: That "something else" is something about the parched soil of Ethiopia. Given that children are to be beaten over the head about refugees, war zones and how worrying about math class instead of something they are powerless to change makes them monsters parents can't love because wanting to fix problems that can be fixed really means that they want sick children to die, it's time to change the channel yet again.

Panel 6: I start to get the sneaking suspicion that Elly had John set the parental lockout on the cable box to censor out anything children might enjoy when Mike is told to love Broadway musicals.

Panel 7: This is confirmed when he turns the television off out of pure irritation when he gets slammed with a lecture about the rain forest.

Panel 8: We get to the second of the three necessary panels of this overly long weekday strip when Liz asks Mike if he's gonna watch some television. Mike says "Nah" because there's always room for berating children about their language.

Panel 9: There's also always room for screaming about how children are selfish horror monsters who want to avoid learning about the world when he says that there's nothing on.

Summary: As I said, any one of Panels 1 through 7 could have been married to the last two panels to tell the story Lynn wants to tell about a boy who wants to waste his time dulling his mind when he could be learning things. What's more, I personally believe that eliminating the redundant panels would have told that story far better.