April 22nd, 2019

howbandaid

Wednesday, 24 April 2019

Today Gordon pushes his $5 to the limit and demands to be included in Mike and Martha’s date.  The jerk.


Panel 1: A little while later, the boys are back outside and Gordon says, “I don’t have a date, but you an’ Mart won’t mind if I tag along tonight, will you?” There are lots of problems here:


  1. It doesn’t matter if Gordon had a date, Michael and Martha might have minded Gordon tagging along.

  2. Gordon assumes they won’t mind and just asks Michael to confirm.

  3. “Mart”?!!  Since when is “Mart” short for “Martha”?  Since when is it OK for Gordon to be calling Martha by a nickname?  Can Gordon be any more annoying?


Panel 2: Gordon explains that he won’t sit with Mike and Martha, but he will blend into the crowd.  Michael says, “But…” and I am sure the rest of this would be “But you never blend into a crowd.  You are always making yourself into the biggest, loudest and most obnoxious doofus ever.”  However, Michael is too polite to say that to Gordon, so Gordon is going to bully him into taking him along.

Panel 3: Gordon goes for the standard sitcom lead-in line “Honest, Mike.   Trust me!  You won’t even know I’m there.”  That is one worn-out line, but it’s not as worn out as “You won’t regret it.” “I regret it already.”  Sorry, Lynn.  Even back in 1990, this was an overused phrase.

Panel 4: Gordon picks the worst possible seat right behind Michael and Martha and then leans forward to put his elbows on their seatbacks, so his every motion will shake their seats.  I have to admit that if I were to pick a seat to annoy a couple that is about as good as it gets.    The only person close to being as obnoxious as Gordon is the guy to Gordon’s right who appears to be chewing bubble gum.  Popping bubble gum bubbles in a movie theater? This sounds like justificable homicide to me.

The other thing I notice is that aside from Martha, the audience appears to be entirely male, which makes me think whatever this movie is, it’s a really bad choice for Martha.  Of course, my other observation from a few days ago is that for whatever reason, Martha and Mike have their own separate popcorns as if one of them is incapable of sharing.  I wonder who?

Summary: A Patterson makes a promise for money and keeps his promise and lives to regret it.  In a few days, it will turn out that Mike has $13.65 without that $5.  If he was willing to share his popcorn with Martha, he could have handed that $5 back to Gordon and told him “You know, I really don’t want you to come on my date with me.  I want to spend time with Martha alone.  Here’s your $5 back.  As tough as this may be for me, I am just going to buy one popcorn and share it.”