April 20th, 2019

howbandaid

Monday, 22 April 2019

Today let’s fill in the missing dialogue from the other side of the phone.  There are 3 different responses, depending on who answers the phone.

Panel 1:

Michael: Hi, um, Allyson? 
Response 1:  Allyson’s mother: This isn’t Allyson.  It’s Allyson’s mother.  Who are you again?
Response 2: Allyson: Yes, this is Allyson.
Response 3: Peter Kent: Yes, this is Allyson.

Michael: It’s, um Mike Patterson. 
Response 1:  Allyson’s mother: Oh.  Are you any relationship to the dentist, Dr. John Patterson?  He’s my dentist. 
Response 2: Allyson: Mike who? 
Response 3: Peter Kent: Mike Patterson, eh?  Are you high?

Michael: Yeah, um, hi!
Response 1:  Allyson’s mother: Your father does great work.  I have to say.
Response 2: Allyson: I have no idea who you are.
Response 3: Peter Kent: I thought so.  You rich kids get all the good stuff.


Panel 2:

Michael: We, uh, I’ve got a friend here – you know, Gordon?
Response 1:  Allyson’s mother: No.  I don’t know Gordon.
Response 2: Allyson: No.  I don’t know Gordon.
Response 3: Peter Kent:  My man Gordon.  No.  I don’t know him.

Michael: We’re going to a show tonight,
Response 1:  Allyson’s mother: You know this isn’t Allyson.  This is her mother.  Let me go get Allyson for you.
Response 2: Allyson: A show?  That’s nice.  I am going to a movie tonight, but I love plays.
Response 3: Peter Kent: You and Gordon?  Are you calling Allyson, I mean, me, to tell me you are gay?

Michael: an’ he wants to talk to you.
Response 1:  Allyson’s mother: Allyson!  Allyson!  There is some boy on the phone to talk to you.  He’s the dentist’s son, I think.
Response 2: Allyson:   Who wants to talk to me?
Response 3: Peter Kent:  He doesn’t really have to tell me that.  If it’s the “Hormone Attack” Gordon from school, I think everyone knows already.

Panel 3:

Michael: Go on! 
Gordon: Ungkk!!

Response 1: 
Allyson’s mother: It’s the dentist’s son.
Allyson: Who?

Response 2: Allyson:   What’s going on?   Are you vomiting?  It sounds like you are vomiting.
Response 3: Peter Kent:  Are you guys doing it while you are on the phone?

Panel 4:

Michael: Technical difficulties are temporary.  Please don’t adjust your phone.
Gordon: Hlgftz!

Response 1: 
Allyson: It says not to adjust your phone.
Allyson’s mother: Adjust your phone?  How do you do that?  That’s something they used to say on television for the old Outer Limits TV show.
Allyson: The what?
Allyson’s mother: The Outer Limits.  They would say, “There’s nothing wrong with your television set.  Do not attempt to adjust the picture”
Allyson: When was that show on television?
Allyson’s mother: Thirty years ago.
Allyson: Who would quote some 30 year TV show to me on the phone?
Allyson’s mother:  Probably some middle-aged female cartoonist who enjoys really old pop culture references.

Response 2: Allyson:   Is this cousin Hlgftz?  Is that you?
Response 3: Peter Kent:  Are you using the phone?  You guys are kinky.

Summary: Looking at this now it seems pretty obvious there is no way Allyson would accept an invitation from either of these two knuckleheads.