April 15th, 2019

Snarky Candiru2

Wednesday, 17 April 2019

I'm about to hand things off to howtheduck with more pointless gobsmackage when Mike astonishes Elly by trying to butter her up because he'd like an advance on his allowance. Tomorrow, we learn why he's stupid enough to want to hit the capricious nitwit up for more dough when he ends up having to take Gordon as a plus one on his date with Martha.

Panel 1: A little while later, we find ourselves at home watching Mike ask Liz where Mom is; Liz tells her that she's at Connie's. Since Mike has no real idea what they talk about, he doesn't know that the subject matter is him and why he's been plotting Elly's annihilation since the doctor cut the umbilical cord.

Panel 2: When he gets there, he excuses himself and states that while he didn't mean to interrupt her imbecilic, self-pitying bleating about how she loves her son but just can't like him, he wonders if he can ask her a question.

Panel 3: This, she asks in her most condescending tone of voice, is her son? This is the person who was so rude to her that she threw a flaming fit she had no reason or excuse to throw that isn't being a fragile, praise-hungry dipshit who thinks that every God-damned thing is a referendum on whether people love her? To what does she owe this burst of courtesy?

Panel 4: Paul J. of Saint John, New Brunswick would, if he were there, tell Mike to spit in one hand and hold the other out to see which gets filled first when he stupidly asks Elly for an advance on his allowance that she has no intention to giving to rude sons who are rude because they hate the poor mother that they yearn to destroy no matter what her own mother might say about how not everything is about her.

Summary: First off, it ain't his gotdang fault you can't deal with a little moodiness, Flapandhonk. Second, howtheduck will explain who Nobody was (hint: Elly thinks that his awareness of her very existence means that Mike is TOO CLOSE!!! to this girl with dangerous body language) and what Nothing was (an afternoon at the cinema).