August 30th, 2018

Snarky Candiru2

Saturday, 1 September 2018

It would appear that "kissing life goodbye" actually means "being given a warning, having the offending item confiscated and (hold on to your seats) writing a letter of apology for bad behaviour." Since Liz and Mike are used to weird punishments instead of sane ones that normal people impose, it's treated as the Worst Thing Ever.

Panel 1: When Liz gets home, Elly stands there howling about how she got in trouble on her first day. Elly does not ask her exactly what she did because Elly cannot bring herself to live in a world where what children do could matter in the long run.

Panel 2: She looks at the note she's reading and says that if she does something to irritate Mrs Grunion again, she's off the bus for a week. Yeah....that's some gooooood kissing life as we know it goodbye there, man. We should be watching Elly howl about an actual problem like Liz brainlessly endangering her own life and the lives of others by doing something stupid and reckless instead of the potential problem of having to ferry the stupid child to school and thus not being a fucking big shot or some shit.

Panel 3: Liz then says that Mrs Grunion latched onto Super Teddy an'if she wants to bail him out, she gots to write a letter of 'pology. Since her lame-brained mother eats the cute act up with alacrity, she just stands there like a shivering pillar of shit again.

Panel 4: The idiot older brother who instigated this mess by telling her that his juvenile and moronic stunt was some wonderful thing comes along and tells her "Boy! A letter of apology...That's tough. Too bad she didn't demand money." Judging from her facial expression, it would seem that she agrees that saying that she's sorry is the worst thing in the world too. After all, their parents never apologize and they themselves only have to do so because they don't have enough power to avoid it.

Summary: Ever wonder why the Pattersons never apologize for being creeps and dullards? We're looking at the answer right here when they compare the process to being waterboarded. There are any number of funny people out there who think that admitting error means a humiliation that can never stop and they're all named Patterson or Caine.