August 17th, 2018

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 19 August 2018

In today's installment of the misplaced envy show, we see Christopher tell Elizabeth that she is ever lucky to get ice cream to make up for skinning the Hell out of her knee.

(Original Version, Strip Number 6805, Publication Date, 20 August 1989)

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Elizabeth steady herself as she skateboards down the sidewalks. As she does so, we are reassured by the fact that the person who colorized the strip saw fit to Photoshop a helmet onto her head that Lynn never bothered drawing because she never fractured her skull and became a vegetable.

Panel 2: She seems to be rather happy as she glides with ease on the level part of the street.

Panel 3: She stoops down to eke out a bit more speed.

Panel 4: Unfortunately, she has forgotten about the hill Lynn inserted in the street grid to make things difficult for skateboards. Now that she's on it, she's going too fast and she doesn't care for it much.

Panel 5: This not liking skateboarding now is compounded by her flying off the thing when it hits a rock.

Panel 6: She cries out in pain because she banged her knee and skinned it. This is the second time a newly helmeted Patterson child has banged an unprotected body part on something hard and it leaves one wondering if retconned John and Elly are cheapskates who only care about protecting their kids' brains and not other body parts like knees or elbows.

Panel 7: After having limped home, we find Liz in the washroom still sniffling a little when Elly bandages up her knee.

Panel 8: Elly smiles as she hands Liz an ice cream cone.

Panel 9: Since he and Richard notice the ice cream cone and not the bandage on her knee, Chris is all about whining about how ever lucky Liz is.

Summary: My guess is that even if he knew how she wound up with the ice cream, Christopher would still be moaning about how no one gives him nothin' when he hurts himself. Also, let's see if Lynn notices that someone made Liz wear the useless helmet of "I stood up in moving cars and never smashed through a windshield and splattered my brains on the highway and died."