July 20th, 2018

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 22 July 2018

John and Elizabeth pay for their fun day playing outside when Elly stands there looking as if she's about to explode because their clothing has grass stains on it.

(Strip Number 6750, Original Publication Date, 23 July 1989)

Panel 1: We find ourselves in the back yard watching Elizabeth as she sneaks up on John as he drinks his iced tea and reads the paper.

Panel 2: She bursts out and yells BOO!! at him.

Panel 3: As they start in on a fun time running around the yard like the happy-go-lucky goofs they are, she dares him to catch her.

Panel 4: She shrieks with delight when he does.

Panel 5: As Liz giggles because the two of them are rolling around in the grass, a snarker-troll fungus person in a basement thinks "They ain't gonna be laughing when Elly sees the grass stains on their clothes."

Panel 6: Carefree Liz plays horsie with Carefree Daddy.

Panel 7: As we watch them throw grass clippings at one another, Not at all Carefree Me knows what's going to happen when they get back inside: KAPOW!!!!

Panel 8: They don't realize it but the two of them are walking into the house to meet their doom.

Panel 9: "Doom", of course, is Rage-Faced Elly who astonishes John and causes Liz to wilt because of the angry bitching she's about to make about how HAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD her life is and about how NO ONE CARES!!!!

This is because it's obvious that Elly has been watching all of this and been laying in wait because she's allowed herself to get angrier and angrier at John and Liz for 'deliberately' ruining her life by being selfish monsters who want to make her their slave. The idea that they're having fun without thinking of her or wanting to hurt her in the least cannot occur to a hard-hearted pea brain who fears happiness really and who also can't manage to understand that how she sees the world is only how she sees it.

Summary: Given that Elly experiences a reasonably pleasant life as a series of catastrophic defeats imposed on her by cruel monsters who are why she can never feel happy ever, it makes too much God-damned sense to assume that the reason life zipped by so fast is that she took herself too damned seriously. Dirty clothes are never dirty clothes to her. Dirty clothes mean an attack on her person by people who hate her and want her to suffer and who also tell evil lies about how she distrusts and fears joy.