December 8th, 2017

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 10 December 2017

Catastrophically Stupid Domestic Failures Elly and Connie go to a restaurant to talk a lot of self-pitying nonsense about how hard it is for belligerent nitwits like them (who, if you ask ME, are spoiling for a fight with their kids) to raise teenaged children only to congratulate themselves on no longer being the fragile imbecile parents of small children.

(Strip Number 6756, Original Publication Date, 11 December 1988)

Panel 1: As she and Connie enter a fancy restaurant, Elly is grousing that Michael makes her so angry, she can't see straight. As she does so, evil, hating garbage snarker-troll fungus person Paul J of Saint John, New Brunswick proves that he wants refugees in war zones to die of world diseases by asking "So....what else is new?"

Panel 2: I believe Connie when she says she knows what she means when the predictable reaction to the angry screeching and self-pitying ineptitude on her part that drives her step-daughters away enrages her too.

Panel 3: Connie again compares Molly and Gayle to wild animals because it's their fault she stupidly bit off more than she could chew while Elly demonstrates a distinct lack of self-awareness and a self-serving love of revisionist history by stating that now that he's twelve, Michael has only just now started to drive her crazy.

Panel 4: As Connie moans about having to survive the blowback of her own self-righteous, self-centred incompetence and belligerent stupidity, Elly watches as a fat woman drags two pre-schoolers and a baby into a place designed specifically to make the lives of children under five Hell On Earth.

Panel 5: The sort of parent Lynn is appealing to grieves with Marg Foole-Hardy because Amanda won't keep her socks on and makes too much noise and will wake the baby and Gregory is fidgety and won't sit down because they think that children have to be bludgeoned into compliance with the whims of their 'loving' mothers. Evil garbage-people wonder what the bloody Hell this nitwit expected taking kids into a kid-hostile environment.

Panel 6: Fat, Angry Moron Woman gets all rage-faced because Amanda objects to having her nasty jerk brother blow her a raspberry as he steals her dolly. Reason: if she were to kick in a hornet's nest to prove that hornets should obey her, it's not her fault if she gets stung half to death.

Panel 7: Improvident Idiot Mom glares at Gregory in baffled rage because he angrily rejects unfamiliar food. This betrays a distinct lack of awareness of children on her part for reasons that should be obvious to anyone who isn't the sort of angry imbecile mother Lynn is pandering to.

Panel 8: As Mrs Foole-Hardy berates her children for being impatient (which is kind of like berating a sniper for having a distinct lack of empathy), Connie and Elly look at one another because they've realized something.

Panel 9: Connie and Elly do a Mexican hat dance on the table because they're no longer the angry, incompetent parents of small children and the one of them who doesn't find Elly Patterson a figure to be envied is pretending that it isn't a problem.

Summary: If they really wanted to stick something on a fridge that says what this strip is all about, they could use this mess owing to the smug pandering to angry moron mothers who are enraged at evil conflict-causing MEN who enacted a silly and unfair law against bashing their kids' heads in with a tire iron for having free will.