October 14th, 2017

Snarky Candiru2

Monday, 16 October 2017

We bitch at children for liking sweet things that only exist to make the lives of WE MOMS worse instead of the boring cereal that's good for them because as evil children filled with CHAOS and MALICE and SELFISHNESS, they HATE all the love in their poor martyred mother's Great Big Heart.

(Strip Number 5037, Original Publication Date, 17 October 1988)

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Elly go into full-blown existential horror mode in Aisle Five of Megafoods. This is because, having taken Lizzie grocery shopping and having made the 'responsible' choice between what one smart-arse calls 'neon crud' and what jjamele calls 'pencil shavings', she's asked why they can't have anything GOOD for a change when buying breakfast cereal and it's blowing her mind that Lizzie defines good as good TASTING instead of good for you.

Summary: A sane, decent person (or reasonable facsimile thereof such as myself) would probably come up with notes about how children never quite manage to realize that Mommy isn't actually an ogre that hates laughter and smiles and fun until they're put in a position of responsibility over others. Lynn and her target audience scream about daggers stuck into great big hearts and people only thanking them forty years after they've died.

(Also, if Lynn was going to mock 'sugar cereal' by coming up with bland names like Sugar Soggs and Karamel Koated Sugar Poofs, she should have not named the 'good' cereal something equally ridiculous like Nootra Bran or Granny's Granola.)