October 12th, 2017

Royally Peeved Candiru

Saturday, 14 October 2017

Lizzie's idealistic but naïve comment about how adults treat each other better than children do would mean a damned sight more if she hadn't grown up to become one of the worst of the monsters she's describing.

(Strip Number 1357, Original Publication Date, 15 October 1988)

Panel 1: Later that day, we find Lizzie asking Daddy why kids don't get along with each other.

Panel 2: She says that some times, when you think someone's your friend, she really isn't. (Hint: she's not aware that Dawn is saying much the same thing about her because of the 'ditching her for Brandy' business.) Sometimes kids do mean things for no reason. (Case in point: calling their mothers lazy because they don't want to make their own damned lunch.)

Panel 3: Kids fight over dumb stuff (as in who's REALLY the only friend a person should have), they pick on each other, they don't share and they say things about each other that aren't true.

Panel 4: Having unloaded on the Inuit soapstone carving she calls a father, she delivers a warped moral about how glad she'll be to be a grown-up because they don't do that to each other. The gobsmacked look on his face tells us that there's something he knows that she doesn't.

Summary: Sure, Lizardbreath. People outgrow that. They don't go to weddings with the specific intent of making the bride feel like shit. They don't throw a tantrum when someone points that out. They don't call someone an ice machine who can't know love because for some evil, selfish reason, she objects to having her fiance's high school girlfriend barge in at random and cling to him like a fucking barnacle whining about how everyone's moving on and leaving her behind. They don't spout racist bullshit about beaus who leave too many arrows because he got sick of being jerked around by a mental pygmy playing stupid games she doesn't have the honesty to admit to.