August 14th, 2017

Snarky Candiru2

Tuesday, 15 August 2017

We find Mike not wanting to join in a crowd that doesn't seem to especially mourn his absence therefrom.

(Strip Number 5003, Original Publication Date, 15 August 1988)

Panel 1: As he takes a fresh box of hot dog buns over to the campfire, Bob notices Mike sitting by himself feeling low and asks him how come he's not at the campfire. Since Mike doesn't like feeling vulnerable, he clams up and says that he dunno.

Panel 2: When Bob tries luring him into the mix by telling him that they're having fun over there, Mike says that it's okay.

Panel 3: Bob walks off and tells Mike "Suit yourself....we'll miss you."

Panel 4: Since Michael is the same sort of narcissistic, literal-minded and gloomy clod Elly is, he looks on at the happy children having fun watching Lizzie give herself second degree burns without him and comes to the conclusion that since they are not wailing in grief at his absence, nobody there really seems to have missed him yet.

Summary: Martha might be about to teach Michael the manners his parents did not but she could never make his IQ grow. His parents are nincompoops so he's a dimwit in his own right. This means that he can't see that anyone who might remark on his absence would shrug and write him off as a butt-hurt crybaby who can dish out the dirt but sure can't take it.
Cynical Candiru

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

As Mike tries to work out why he doesn't seem to have any sort of real friends, he accidentally tells us why when he screams about the unfairness of something he seems to share with Martha: the belief that he's better than the people he finds himself amongst.

(Strip Number 5004, Original Publication Date, 16 August 1988)

Panel 1: We find out why Mike is sitting by himself when he comes to the conclusion that for some reason, no one seems to really like him as a person. (This proves that Mike is of dim intellect because it's kind of hard to like the knob we have to endure.)

Panel 2: People pretend to like him but when they choose a friend, nobody actually seems to want to choose him. (This means having brains and class is a bad thing because he's where he belongs: on the outside looking in.)

Panel 3: They only seem to pretend to like him so they can get him to do something dumb or act silly or accept a dare or something. (This is meant to absolve him of his pathetic eagerness to accept dares.)

Panel 4: Mike screams skyward and asks why he hasta be a clown and why can't he just be boring an'ordinary like everyone else.

Summary: The problem is, as always, that Mike isn't a rebel or a clown or anything else BUT a boring, ordinary kid like everyone else. He only thinks he is because his fragile flower parents and their moron friends tell him he is. The reason they can't see the slug-like dimwit everyone else sees is because they're as superficial as he is and only see the results of his being a pathetic shlub who accepts dares so he'll fit in and people will like him. Why he does stupid crap is something not of interest.