July 29th, 2017

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 30 July 2017

Today's episode of "Help, I'm White and I can't get down!!" has Lynn look down on children who listen to headache music by pointing out that the country song Mike is too good for is functionally equivalent to his rock tune.

(Strip Number 6753, Original Publication Date, 31 July 1988)

Panel 1: We find John smiling as he turns on the radio.

Panel 2: We find out why when the announcer reminds John that he's listening to his favourite station: CKAT 101 FM playing the sweet sound of country.

Panel 3: As a mildly disgusted Mike looks on, John listens to an alleged country song about the woes of some poor slob who fell for a gold-digger who loved spending his money more than she loved him and how he had to flee from said mercenary miss in his 18 wheeler never to return 'cause she done crushed his heart in her machine. (I'm not going to reproduce the lyrics as they're what someone who only pretends to like country to piss off her kids thinks a country song sounds like.)

Panel 4: We get our recommended daily allowance of generational warfare when Mike rolls his eyes and asks John how he can listen to country western crud.

Panel 5: Since Mike forgets that John grew up with it and likes it, he calls it the lamest music on the planet.

Panel 6: Since he's a stupid kid, he glosses over sales records when he confuses his peer group with the whole world and harrumphs about how no one in his right mind listens to it.

Panel 7: He then turns on another radio.

Panel 8: John looks on in confusion when Mike smiles and listens to a different alleged song about the woes of a different slob who fell for a different gold-digger who loved spending his money more than she loved him and how he had to flee from HIS mercenary miss in his Pontiac never to return 'cause he was a bug and she was a windshield. The only substantive difference between the "songs" is that old fogies like Lynn can moan that they can understand the lyrics of John's heartbroken nitwit song while thinking that their kids' music sounds like the subliterate howling Mike is listening to.

Summary: Lynn reserves the right to bludgeon us over the head with a stupid moral when it's something that she cares about: telling her children that their music is bad and they should feel bad for liking it when what they should like is to sing along to the songs her dad played. Also, is it just me or do you also think that Lynn might come out of left field and scream about how all popular music is written by evil MEN who think the wrong thing about women?