July 7th, 2017

Snarky Candiru2

Saturday, 8 July 2017: Along Came A Gordo, Day Five

After Lizzie cheerfully narks on Mike and Gordo, Elly turns into a would-be defender of innocent creatures from the hordes of the always-chaotic evil creatures called boys. Too bad she forgets the other brand of always-evil monster in her life.

(Strip Number 4994, Original Publication Date, 8 July 1988)

Panel 1: When Panicky Idiot Mike tells Elly not to turn on the Radiation King™ microwave, Elly wants to know why.

Panel 2: Elly gets all horrified when Lizardbreath proves herself to be of very little brain when she gets all happy and peppy and stupid when ratting Mike and Gordon out as regards "Operation: Make Spider Go Pop." Reason: she does this sort of thing all the time only to turn around and wonder WHY Mike resents her.

Panel 3: As a smiling Lizzie looks on, Elly responds in her typical calm, reasonable, measured fashion by grabbing onto Mike's shirt-front and giving him a death glare that probably made him soil himself. (Hint: Elly remembers behaving like someone who was not five seconds away from beating the crap out of him for scaring her.) Mike tries explaining that it was just an experiment while Gord says that they didn't mean any harm.

Panel 4: Braying Lunatic Elly points at the inside of the microwave and bellows "Tell that to the spider!!!"

Summary: We transition from "Mike Patterson, Overly-Suggestible Follower" to "Elly Patterson, Would-Be Defender Of The Sanctity Of Life" so that we can have an unusually dark reminder that this world of darkness and chaos and children and sports cars and dogs and team sports and computers and all other bad things that ruin lives conspires to make Elly miserable and set her desires at naught.