June 4th, 2016

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 5 June 2016

As an unsupervised Mike and Lizzie channel-surf through televised filth, he promises that he'll be a more responsible and attentive parent than Elly is.

(Strip Number 7241, Original Publication Date, 7 June 1987)

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Lizzie watching over Mike's shoulder as he watches a hard-core porno film on the box featuring characters named Chad and Melanie going at it like woodchucks.

Panel 2: Since Lynn as subtle as she is smart and honest, when Lizzie asks what the film is called, Mike replies 'First Date.'

Panel 3: He switches from donkey bonking to a gritty NC-17 rated crime drama that has one character profanely promise to slit the other person's throat if he so much as twitches.

Panel 4: On the channel after that, it's another porn film as someone and a Rupert are doing the dirty hula.

Panel 5: On the channel after THAT channel, there's an adult gameshow in which new wives are asked to compare their husbands to either a floppy disk (because Lynn has no idea what one looks like), a power drill or a fridge.

Panel 6: He changes channels once more to find another round of ultraviolence with someone meeting disrespect with a hail of gunfire.

Panel 7: In his quest to find something more kid-friendly, he stumbles upon a film that has some dude hosing people down with a machine gun.

Panel 8: As he changes the channel yet again, Mike tells Lizzie that there's one thing he knows for certain.

Panel 9: Said thing is that when he's a parent, there's no way he's going to let HIS kids watch anything remotely like what they've just been exposed to.

Summary: While the Lynnsight will no doubt reflect Lynn's belief that the federal government should simply ban material like this forever to save the children, this leaves us with an important question that she and Sparky are loathe to answer: WHERE? ARE? THE? PARENTS?!?! and WHY ARE THEY NOT SUPERVISING THEIR KIDS?! Also, this is an example of something being both harsh AND hilarious in hindsight given what a horribly oblivious parent he does become.