June 6th, 2015

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 7 June 2015

Today, the kids oppress Elly by doing as little as possible to pick up after themselves because they think that tidying up after themselves is the worst thing EVER....mainly because Mommy tells them that cleaning up things is a cruel imposition.

(Strip Number 6691, Original Publication Date, 8 June 1986)

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching a typical slice of life in the Pattermanse as Super-Martyred Elly makes that stupid-ass palms-out pleading gesture when she asks her super-selfish children why they never tidy up after themselves.

Panel 2: She then thought-bubbles "Why don't elephants fly?"

Panel 3: She then lays down the law by telling them that she's had enough of looking at their mess and wants the chaos to go away NOW!!

Panel 4: She then tells each chaos-loving monster child to pick up and put away the toys he or she was playing with. Given that she thinks of them as tiny adults who want to hurt her instead of children who don't think the way she does, we can foresee a complication she's too stupid to see coming.

Panel 5: We see the flaw in her logic rather early on when Mike and Lizzie bicker over who was playing with a snakes-and-ladders game. Lynn probably assumes that it's because children love filth when it's closer to the truth to say children don't want to do other people's work.

Panel 6: This continues when they cannot agree on who's responsible for putting away a toy robot.

Panel 7: They pass by Elly and tell her that they've both picked up what they were playing with.

Panel 8: Since Elly is stupid and doesn't realize that any normal kid would take her command to mean "Pick up the toys only you were playing with," the mess left behind by her ambiguous screeching terrifies and disheartens her because she never saw it coming like a sane person would.

Summary: If there are notes, we'll probably get a whiny pile of mush about how long it took for children to get into the tidiness habit. This should make the Katie who's selling Farley plushies at fire sale prices really freaking happy. Not a bit of it will be dedicated to the ambiguous mush coming out of Elly's mouth or how her refusal to understand how children think leads to crap like this.