January 17th, 2015

Angry Candiru

Sunday, 18 January 2015: John Patterson must die.

In today's strip, John creatively expresses himself by threatening his children with violence because they actually make sounds when good children show their gratitude by being unsettlingly quiet.

(Strip Number 7206, Original Publication Date, 19 January 1986)

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Elizabeth and Michael make loud music with pots, pans, cymbals and a toy piano.

Panel 2: Since a dog's hearing is more sensitive than a human being's is, we find that Farley doesn't like the wall of sound he's colliding with.

Panel 3: John notices that Mike and Lizzie's playing has forced Farley to leave the room.

Panel 4: Since John seems to want to live in a world without sound in it, he asks Elly why there's all this noise when he wants perfect stillness.

Panel 5: Elly tells her tone-deaf-that's-why-he-failed-piano-lessons husband that there's nothing wrong with a little creative expression.

Panel 6: He physically recoils from a rather loud example of creative expression.

Panel 7: John expresses himself by shouting "STOP THAT STAR-SKULL-SATURN-SWIRLY-MARK-LIGHTNING-BOLT-CROSSHATCHING RACKET!!!".

Panel 8: John becomes a stand-in for every thin-skinned person who should never have had children by being delighted that the children are too terrified of his rage and viciousness to continue to make the sounds that disturb his need to live in an isolation booth instead of a HOUSE with PEOPLE in it.

Panel 9: Having successfully frightened children whose only 'crime' was making a bit of joyful noise, smug rat bastard idiot John thought-bubbles about how wonderful creative expression is.

Summary: We're probably in for a rather nasty Lynnsight in which she gushes about how super-fricking-great it is that asshole parents shout children into a sort of sinister silence because 'everyone' knows that good children love to play 'lobotomy patient.'
Calm Candiru

Just a bit of a heads-up

Remember all that stuff last summer that had Steph and Lynn talking about organizing her artwork a bit better? It turns out that there's something of a reason for it. It hasn't been announced on the website quite yet but it seems that this June, we're going to be seeing another largish retrospective like "Suddenly Silver" or "Lives Behind The Lines." This probably means that all that stuff about getting the files straight was simply Katie's way of making what could be the last big collection before the EVIL INTERNET and SCARY AND WRONG TABLETS destroy alphabetic literacy.

Also, it's being published by an independent publisher, not by Andrews McMeel..for reasons that should possibly be somewhat obvious.